Easter Vigil Sermon: New fire and living water

New fire and living water. Extremes of existence, held together by the cross and the resurrection, like life and death.

Water. Soothing, refreshing, life-giving. We play in it, luxuriate in it. Our bodies are more than half made of it. Yet when it is contaminated, it kills; when it is scarce, we fight over it and worry for it; and when it breaks loose, like the archetypal flood, the waters before creation, the terrifying deep, it burns like fire and drowns all that it touches.

Fire. It falls from the heavens and scorches the earth. It burns out of control, terrifying; yet without it, we would have no life, no earth, nothing. The sun, a burning ball of fire, gives us light, warmth, the conditions we need for life on this, its third orbiting planet. Fire even delights us, whether throught the comfort of a homely fireplace or the excitement of a firework display; it adds to our enjoyment of life.

Fire and water. Life and death. Extremes held together by the cross and the resurrection, the cross which we mark with oil on the heads of the newly baptized; the resurrection which overcomes death.

 [fire and water demo!] – ok, kids, here’s where it gets funky. I have a glass (actually Pyrex) bowl, into which I have just poured a little water while talking about the water, and another, with sand and a candle stuck in it, which I lit while talking about the fire. An oil stock also sits somewhere nearby.

Now, I invite the children to come and join me at the chancel steps. We talk about how fire and water don’t play well together. Then, I produce a little glass bottle of gel firelighter (it pours like oil), and pour it onto the water.

**Disclaimer: if you decide to try this, read the warning labels on the flammable liquid that you use and follow them. Keep all small children out of reach of any shooting flames. Keep the water level in the bowl low in relation to the brim, and don’t use too much oil. Remember that the vessel that you are using will get hot. Use lots and lots of common sense! I am not to be held responsible for anyone else’s inflammatory mishaps but my own!**

Now, when we (I) use the candle to light the oil floating on top of the water, it burns. We talk about how the oil allows the fire and the water to exist side by side, without destroying one another, without scorching, or quenching one another.

The oil of chrism, the sign of the cross at baptism, hold together the extremes of life and death, fire and water. We die with Christ and are raised to new life with him, all in one action. The cross and the resurrection hold together the extremes of life and death, and the oil represents that to our bodies at baptism.

The children are dismissed.

We began Lent, forty days and six Sundays ago, by marking our faces with ashes, those signs of our own mortality, of the dying of the light, the remains of the fire. On Thursday, we stripped bare the altars, we covered up the stained glass window of the resurrection, we waited for the death of God on Good Friday. Today, all was quiet as the tomb.

Until now. Until now.

Earthquakes. Angels with clothes made of lightning. New fire and Easter bells: now death has been transformed into life. Jesus, once dead and buried, is risen and appears again to his disciples, the women who came to weep for him; and death no longer has dominion over him.

There are resurrection stories of Jesus in which his best friends don’t recognize him when they first see him newly alive. I don’t think that it can be just the surprise. People who have lost loved ones often have the opposite experience: they see their lost love everywhere, in everyone who passes by. But Jesus seems to have been changed by the experience of Holy Saturday, by that day spent in the land of the dead.

The old images of the realms of the dead – fire and water – the burning nether regions and the rivers of the dead – Jesus had passed through those places and purified them by his presence.

He didn’t leave behind everything from his former life. He still had the wounds in his hands, his feet, his side, the marks of the cruelest experience he suffered. He did not forget his death.

But he seems to have left behind any bitterness, any regrets that he might have had. He never confronted his disciples about their betrayals and abandonment; about their lack of faith that he would indeed rise from the dead as he had told them he would. He gave them loving greetings. He told them not to be afraid. He called them his brothers and his sisters.

He still bore the marks of the cross. He didn’t undo the pain, the suffering, the death. But he overcame it. He was the same Jesus that his friends had always known, and loved, but his life was brand new, fresh from the fire, his wounds washed clean by the water. He held together in his still-scarred but resurrected body death and life, fire and water, the cross and the resurrection.

Some of us, in the past week, walking the Stations of the Cross that were set up in the church, wrote or drew prayers for things that we prayed Jesus would take into the tomb with him, take into the realm of death, and leave there. I fed them into the new fire this evening. They have been burnt up, transformed by the journey through fire, from death to life. Just as we, in baptism, are washed clean, transformed, renewed by the journey through the water into new birth.

When we are united with Jesus in death, we are united with him in resurrection. When we bear the sign of the cross anointed with oil on our foreheads, we hold the cross and the resurrection together in our own bodies, our own lives. We are sinners, forgiven. We draw mortal breaths, filled with eternal life. We are transformed, and our lives are no longer our own, but they are God-given and thanksgiven and we live no longer for ourselves alone but for God and for one another.

We began Lent by marking our faces with ashes, the dying of the light, the remains of the fire.

Now, as we baptize N. and renew our own baptismal vows, we wash our faces clean, so that they might reflect the new fire, the Paschal candle, the signs of the eternal life that we live with God, the divine spark within each one of us, fire and water by the grace of the cross and resurrection burning together.

In the name of Jesus Christ, our Risen Lord and Saviour: Amen. Alleluia!

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Holy Saturday: Don’t Look Back

My parents met in singing class, so when they grew up, naturally, they joined the local amateur operatic society. I was too young to go to the shows, but I do remember once being allowed to (or maybe the babysitter got sick and I had to) go to see the dress rehearsal. The show was Orpheus in the Underworld, and my mother played Eurydice.

It was my first introduction to the theme. It is a spoof of the classic tale, but even in this version, Eurydice ends up (eventually unwillingly) in the Underworld, captured by Pluto, and her husband (however unwillingly) tries to rescue her. Orpheus is to lead Eurydice above ground, but if he looks back, he will lose her forever. At the last minute, Jupiter makes him jump, and he looks, and all is lost.

Years before I knew that Lot’s wife + looking back = pillar of salt; or the Gospel tale that putting one’s hand to the plough + looking back = loopy furrows; I had learned from that parody of Greek mythology that when Hades is behind you, you don’t look back.

Which brings us to Holy Saturday. According to the Apostles’ Creed, after Jesus was crucified, he descended to the dead. Other translations permit “descended to Hell.” The early Church Fathers were liberal with the name Hades; the traditions of the Underworld were alive and well (despite their location). Dante’s Inferno allows Jesus as far as Limbo, to lift out Moses and other deserving souls from their state of sleeping death. The harrowing of Hell broke open the barriers that held the dead captive, and opened up even to them the possibilities of eternal life.

But did Jesus look back?

Could love ever not look back? Did Jesus, in the harrowing of Holy Saturday, overcome the temptation to look back? Or did love, real Love, which looked only for the sake of the beloved, and not for its own sake, overcome the “looking back curse?”

Would the one who left ninety-nine sheep safely penned alone to look for one who was lost ever stop looking, even on the road out of Hell?

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Stations of the Cross

Last week, I installed a sequence of interactive Stations of the Cross at St Andrew’s. This afternoon, it came time to take them down, and I realized (not for the first time in my life) that I had not thought this thing all the way through.

The Eighth Station commemorates Jesus’ encounter with the women of Jerusalem, who are weeping and wailing for him.

I think that this story sometimes suffers from our attempts to sanctify the sacred story by sanitizing it. But Jesus’ words to the women are at best a warning; and to a reasonable person, they might even sound bitter. Which, given where he is on his journey, does not seem unreasonable.

So here’s what the Station I installed describes:

“A great number of the people followed him, and among them were women who were beating their breast and wailing for him. But Jesus turned to them and said,

‘Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For the days are surely coming when they will say,

“Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breast that never nursed.”’”

***

The women were wailing. They were there to let Jesus know that his passing did not go unnoticed, unmourned, in a community whose leaders had condemned him.

Throughout the Bible, the greatest sorrow of a woman has been not to bear children. Now Jesus speaks of a time so revolutionary and so painful that this will be upended. Blessed will be the women who do not suffer the pain that his mother endures, of seeing their beloved children suffer. Blessed will be the childless. A bitter blessing.

The loss of children before they are born, and the loss of unconceived but hoped-for children, is still difficult to acknowledge and openly grieve in our society. Japan has a memorial ritual for the “water-children,” born from dark into dark, and their statues haunt western visitors. We add our prayers and our monuments to theirs, for the women of Jerusalem, for the women in our lives who suffer invisible loss, and for their children.

Prayer:

Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Amen. (Psalm 130:1)

I provided a photo of a memorial to those children born from darkness to darkness, and clay, to encourage the making of our own memorials. I made a small statue for my own “water child.”

 At the end of the week, there were ten small memorial statues, each a tiny, half-formed image of someone lost before she or he was known.

 In some ways, it would have made sense to return them to the clay – earth to earth – to be formed again next year. But I couldn’t do that. It seemed to undo the very meaning of the memorial: that these were children, beloved of God and of the one who made their image. That they were, and are, and are still mourned.

 So I buried them. I took the shovel from Station Two (of which more another time), and buried them by the daffodils. I read a psalm over them, and let them go.

 And I thought of Jesus’ warning, or bitter words, and I thought of the bitter tears we shed with him, and he with us, and it made sense. He was weeping with the women, after all, and they with, not only, for him.

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Good Friday Liturgy

If your music can’t describe the agony

without the temptation to temper it with sweetness,

let it crash to the floor.

If your canvas cannot portray

the infinite end, the sightless abyss, the void,

let it be empty.

If your words can do no more

than faintly echo the forsaken psalm,

then let them speak silence.

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Dereliction

Waiting for a sign

from a sky bolted shut –

the falling dove,

Elijah and the Prophet shining –

a sign that

all is not lost or forgotten but

still beloved;

the child’s cry –

“Why?” –

to a stubborn parent who

will not answer

with his own tears.

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Maundy Thursday

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You are invited to a holy meal.

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Last words

This is a meditation delivered at a service of the Seven Last Words at Trinity Cathedral, Cleveland, Good Friday 2009, revisited today in honour of Holy Week and in memory of Joyce.

 – Woman, behold your son: behold your mother –

 I wonder if at first this sounded like something of a mixed blessing.

Woman, see your son. Son, see your mother.

I wonder: How did it feel to Mary, as she stood weeping, watching him die, wishing she could reach him one last time, and hearing her beloved son tell her, Woman, see your son; handing her over, without so much as a by-your-leave: Son, see your mother.

I wonder what she was remembering. The strange events that surrounded his birth? Or did she remember that wedding, when she talked Jesus into saving the day when the wine ran out? When she could still persuade him. Or was she thinking of  another day when she took Jesus’ brothers to see him, and his reply was, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” When he told her he had left the family home and he was not coming back.

Mary didn’t need another son. Jesus’ brothers could take care of her. And even they wouldn’t replace her firstborn.

And yet, here he was, this young man, standing beside her, his grief matched to her own. And he had spent these past few years with her son, closer to him than she had managed since his youth. Perhaps, he could teach her to find those lost years; perhaps he could help her to reclaim something of what she was losing on the cross before her. Perhaps, like that angel long ago, who first gave her the news of her son when she was just a young girl; perhaps this young man could bring her a word of hope regarding her beloved Jesus.

I wonder.

And what about John? It’s one thing to become someone’s mother. Basically, all you have to do is love them. Love them more than life itself, mind you, and risk the pain of losing them, but really, all you have to do to be a mother is to love.

But for a grown man to take on a grown woman as his mother: what does that even mean? To love her back, surely, but there must be more to it than that. How much responsibility is he to take for her? To house her, clothe her, feed her, take care of her welfare when she is no longer able to take care of her own? Give up his freedom and his bachelor ways without even the benefit of a wife? I wonder how John felt about it all.

And yet, here she was, leaning upon him, crying into his robe, mingling her tears with his own, the mother of his best friend, his remarkable master, the one they had come to believe truly was the Son of God.

And what did that make her, this woman Mary. The mother of the Son of God?

And perhaps she would tell him stories of Jesus’ childhood. Perhaps she could even teach him something about Jesus he didn’t know, help him to reclaim something of what he was losing.

I wonder.

I want to tell you about something that happened to me, here, a few years ago. My own mother was dying, away across the ocean. It was hard to bear, and one Sunday morning, sitting alone at the back of the cathedral, I couldn’t help but cry. It was nine o-clock, and any of you who has been to a nine o’clock service here knows that when it comes time, the whole congregation, the whole church family gathers around the table to celebrate the Eucharist together.

Well, this particular morning, I couldn’t help but cry, and I didn’t want to stand up and gather in a circle and show my tears to the world. I stayed where I was, hidden at the back of the church, and I put my face in my hands.

But then I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a woman sat down beside me. She was a complete stranger to me, but she took my hand and said,

“You need to come with me now to the table. Because, I’m not going without you. I’m not leaving you here alone. You’re my sister.”

And she led me to the foot of the cross, and hand in hand we heard the story of Jesus’ last supper, and as one body, we shared in the one bread, and she brought me back to Jesus, and she shared Jesus with me. This stranger, my sister.

She didn’t care if I didn’t look like her, or dress like her, or even sound much like her. She didn’t ask for anything in return for adopting me as her own. But as though she had heard a word from the Lord himself, she told me, “I’m not leaving you here alone. You’re my sister.”

And in that moment, although my mother was still dying, and still so far away, I wonder if the comfort that I felt, if the warmth that ran through me was anything like the blessing that John and Mary received together from Jesus in that moment of loss, of grief and despair, on that far away, long ago hillside afternoon.

I wonder.

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The Knitting Circle

At the foot of the cross,
women nailed to the ground by grief.
A short way off, more women with their knitting sticks,
brows furrowed, lips pursed, though whether against
death or thieves or Romans or a dropped stitch
noone could tell. Between them,
closely woven winding sheets grew.
By the time it were done, they would be ready.

As the noon rose,
more stitches slid away than were saved.
Eyelids struggled against the weight of the wait.
A silent commotion pricked their ears;
life fled the air, as though the heavens were drawing breath.

The ground lifted.
One scrabbled for the yarn, gathering up her shroud in a panic,
turned, and found herself among the wrong women,
those standing stony still while the storm raged through them.

Later, when the earth was calm, they drifted back.
From the corners of her soul she saw the others
taking their beloved down,
and she tore out her winding sheet and started
something new.

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Stations of the Cross

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Palm Sunday procession

The children are playing “parade.” They cut branches and leaves and grass to wave like flags. They throw their coats on the earth to make a colourful parade ground. They ride on their neighbour’s baby donkey and their friend’s large dog. They take turns riding, while the others sing and shout and laugh, Hosanna! – a childish parody of Pilate’s parade processing in by another gate across the city.
The stranger comes in through their little decorated gate. They have heard of him; strange stories, wonderful things. He is riding a small donkey, as though he were one of them.
The children sing and wave their branches. Their parents join them, laughing and singing “Hosanna!”
“Blessed is the One who comes in the name of our Lord!”
Their voices trail away as they listen to what they say, and the stranger continues to smile and to wave and wink at the children …

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_________________________

Indebted to Marcus J. Borg and John Dominic Crossan, The Last Week: What the Gospels Really Teach About Jesus’s Final Days in Jerusalem (HarperOne, 2006)

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