Awaiting glory

The stars have turned cold 
awaiting their chance to shine 
shrouded in clouds watching the child 
swaddled in hope and fear 
crossing the desert 
braving the sea 
lullabied in a bomb shelter –
a mother wearied by the wake 
father haunted by the absence of a ghost 
spirit sibling sings a note 
falls silent snuggling the dark 
the sky shivers

The sky shivers
angels like dust descending 
searching with terrible eyes 
for peace on earth
there one whispers
there between the beat
of one heart and another 
between contractions after birth 
between the gasp and the cry 
there if for a moment they should glimpse it
the memory would last them for eternity

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On the longest night

A service of hope for the longest night, 21st December 2022, Matthew 1:18-25                                                                  


Sometimes I envy Joseph the certainty of his dreams. He seems so sure, after a restless night’s sleep, of what he needs, what he is called to do: marry Mary, raise the child, run to Egypt, risk the return home.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, here on the longest night, to have an angel come and say, “Only do this, and all shall be well”?

Except that, even for Joseph, all was not entirely well. Instead, he put his dreams of home life on hold while Mary birthed the child who would become his son, but only through the practice of faith, duty, and love.

For the sake of this chosen family, Joseph would make himself a refugee, seeking asylum in the land once overseen by his namesake, another dreamer. He witnessed an attempted genocide in the land of his son’s birth, and he was persuaded that even the wilderness journey and the uncertain destination would be better for his family than to remain there. Too many still face that choice, even thousands of years after the angels announced peace on the earth.

When his dream summoned him home, Joseph would have found much that had changed. He must have grieved the family and friends whose funerals he had missed while he was in exile. He would have seen how much older his former associates had become, and realized that they were his mirror: this last desert crossing had been harder than the first.

But I imagine that what sustained Joseph was not his dreams, as prophetic as they were, but the waking reality, the dawning realization that he was always, everywhere, in the presence of God: Emmanuel, God with us; Jesus, the Saviour.

Watching the infant nurse, sleep, learn to smile and babble, he remembered the promises of God never to forget nor forsake God’s children.

In the cries of Bethlehem, he remembered that trouble is never far from this life, and that none of us suffers alone.

In the emptiness of the desert, he looked to the stars in the longest and darkest night sky he had ever witnessed, and wondered how many of them were angels, watching over this little family.

As the child grew, and began to ask questions, act out, surprise his parents with unexpected outbursts of emotion or love, he wondered at the capacity of God to be with us, bear with us, in the most human ways; even God, who is supposedly above it all.

And that, I think, is the hope of this longest night: not a dream, nor a destination, but the certain knowledge that we are not alone; that grief, trouble, anxiety, suffering will visit this life, and in none of it are we forgotten or forsaken.

We are not alone. This is what our Communion means: we are here for ourselves, but also with and for one another; and Christ is here with and for us.

We are not alone. Joseph, our ancestor, dreamer and dutiful carer, bearer of the burdens of humanity and holiness, watches our dreams, and remembers, and reminds us, that the angels are attending us, too.

We are not alone. God is with us. May it be enough.

Amen

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God’s gift

A sermon for the Fourth Sunday of Advent


Decades ago, when my children were small and we were visiting with their grandparents in Wales, we went to the Royal Welsh Show. Browsing some of the artisan stands, one of my children found a small, twisted silver bracelet. It cost six pounds. They turned and asked for their pocket money, “So that I can buy it for you.” To say that I was conflicted is an understatement. I didn’t want my child spending all their holiday pocket money on me. But how could I refuse the generosity of innocence, and the purity of the gift? From what was I protecting them, if I refused to let them buy it? I’m still conflicted, but I also still have the bracelet.

You can hear the exasperation in Isaiah’s voice: Is it too little for you to weary mortals, that you weary my God also?

God wants to offer you a sign. God has asked you to choose your sign. God is waiting to signal to you that God is with you, in the language that you choose, so that you may know how faithful, how merciful, how good God is. And you, Ahaz, you of little faith, do not want to put God to the test.

I know, I know we hear that phrase elsewhere in positive terms. But God wants us to know that She so loves the world as to send her Son to be born of a woman, to grow and to come to grief, to die and to defeat even death, because God wants us to see how much God loves us.

And what does Ahaz say? No thank you? And what do we say? That’s a little rich for my blood? 

After all, if we do believe that God will give to us the sign of God’s grace, of God’s favour, whether it be as high as heaven or as deep as the grave, why do we still deny that there is enough food for the multitudes, enough forgiveness for the fallen, enough love to count the hairs on the heads of every sparrow, every child of God?

Ahaz rejected God’s sign and chose for himself instead kings whom he considered powerful to protect him; in doing so he put himself and his people at the mercy of a foreign empire, instead of trusting in the mercy of God. He allowed his fear of his neighbours to overshadow the righteous fear of God, and faith in God’s providence. His false humility before the prophet was really a cover for his pride and his fear.

It takes humility to accept a gift, especially from one such as God, whom we can never repay, whom we can never love back as much as God loves us. It takes a generous spirit to accept the self-giving, forgiving, undeserved love of the Other.

Look at Joseph. He did not refuse the gift that God had brought to his door, to his house, to his home, although no doubt there were those who thought his first instinct was correct, to turn away from all of this excess, or worse: to counter love with condemnation. But Joseph was old enough to know how to refuse evil and choose good; and he chose to accept that God was with him, closer than his own flesh and blood.

And what if Joseph had said no? What if he had sent Mary away into the hill country to give birth anonymously and secretly; what if he had never known the love, the unconditional and unsurpassed love of Jesus, the infant, the child, the man, the Messiah? Can you imagine missing out on all of that?

Christmas is no time to refuse a gift. I know, I know we’re not there yet; but if Advent is a time of preparation, how will we prepare ourselves to receive, to accept, to be graciously open to the magnificence, the expansiveness, the sheer excess of God’s love? 

One of the difficulties I had in accepting the gift from my child was in knowing that I don’t deserve it. I am just not that good. And yet the beauty of living in relationship is the opportunity time and again for repentance, for reparations, for reconciliation, and of being loved anyway. 

And we do not get to choose whether or not God loves us. Whether we feel worthy or wormy, God loves us, and we cannot make it otherwise.

Perhaps we are right to be a little cautious. Joseph’s whole life plan certainly changed on a dime in that dream, when he decided before he even awoke to accept the Christ child into his life. But what would he have missed, if he had said, no.

In the Collect that we pray this morning, we ask God to “purify our conscience … by your daily visitation, that your Son Jesus Christ, at his coming, may find in us a mansion prepared for himself.”

Joseph was a carpenter, an artisan. He was probably pretty well set up, but he wasn’t aristocracy. He wasn’t lord of the manor. Yet God thought him good enough to raise God’s son as his own. 

If we accept the gift that God is offering us, if we accept Jesus, then we have to live as those who are beloved, who have everything that we need, and joy to share with the world; no more excuses to live in fear or meanness. If we accept the gift of God’s love in Christ, that grace will transform us. If we accept the gift that God is giving us, if we truly and humbly accept the gift of the incarnation, of Jesus, of Emmanuel, God with us, then we will transform our hearts into mansions with many chambers, overflowing with grace and hospitality.

God wants to give us a sign, whether it be as humble as a picnic of fish and bread or as elevated as bread and fine wine. God wants to give us a sign of God’s abundant love.

God loves us. God wants to give us a sign. God wants to give us Godself. That is what is on offer here. Nothing less. It may be life-changing, but isn’t that the point?

And so we approach toward Bethlehem, in great joy, but on bended knee; in awe and tenderness; surrounded by angels, as tremulous as shepherds, as humbled as infants, and as welcome as kings.

Amen.

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The wolf and the lamb

To speak of love 
is to render it tame; 
so the word became flesh 
and took again 
the fiercer features of life; 
took flight from the angels, 
hid instead within 
the brutish warmth 
of mother-milk and frailty; 
the love whose name 
we dare to speak for fear 
else of devouring one another.

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The Word

There are no words for some days;
there are no words to take away
ten years that pass like treacle,
thick with the cloy of memory
and the bitter tang of grief;
there are no words to match
the headlong reel into a future
undone; we recoil from comfort,  
for there are no words.

Yet we wait on the Word that was
and is and is to come,
the light of the world
newly born in darkness.
We have not found the words
to take away sin and death,
to restore the bereft to life.
Still, we wait upon the Word.


Ten years ago, we were stunned and stricken by the news coming out of Newtown, CT, of a mass shooting at an elementary school. The next day, like so many preachers of the gospel, good news, I was lost for words. That Sunday, I was still waiting. “’A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they were no more,’” I preached; “There is a time to respect Rachel’s refusal to find consolation. There is a time to sit quietly beside her while she rages and rents her clothes and wails her grief. There is a time to let the good news wait, because for now it can hardly be heard over the loud lamentation, and it will, after all, still be there tomorrow.”

Ten years later, with apologies to those still unconsoled, we wait still upon the Word to come; for good news to the victims of gun violence, peace on earth, and the goodwill to protect and celebrate every child of God. Amen: Come, Lord Jesus.


Image: Rachel is weeping for her children, fresco, public domain, via wikimedia commons

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A broader mischief

I am sorry to say 
that today is not convenient 
for revolution. I have 
Sadducees coming for dinner 
and some scribes – I did not 
tell them of each other – I 
have employed unemployed 
tax collectors as wait staff 
and women of repute  
for the cabaret. Mary 
is livid, Martha apoplectic. 
My mother preached reversal
but I am inclined toward a broader mischief.


I wasn’t preaching today – thanks to our wonderful deacon – but this poem came from mulling this week over the Magnificat, and Jesus’ strange, illogical ranking of John as greatest but least, making me wonder whether the redistribution he envisions is less an inversion than a radical reimagination of fortunes.

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A messiah for the rest of us

A reflection on the coming Sunday’s gospel, John’s question, which is perennially ours; Jesus’ answer, which is ours, too


While John took on kings and their consorts, Jesus consorted with the lowly and the leprous.
While John baptized gods, Jesus cast down demons.
While John ate locusts and wild honey, Jesus took tea with tax collectors, sinners, and hypocrites – in other words, with us.
As fast as John cleared the way with his prophesy, the people littered it with palms.
John’s prison was a palace; Jesus wept in the garden.
“Is it you?” John asked from his cavernous cell, weighed down by Herod’s feasting and the emptiness of the night.
As soon as John saw Jesus, coming toward him in the Jordan, in the light filtered through his mother’s skin, in glory, he felt his heart leap and lurch.
“Tell him what you have seen,” replied his cousin, his lamb, his love; his poor, humble heart. 

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Christ, the king we need

At the end, as at the beginning of his ministry, Jesus was subjected to the taunts and contempt of the tempter. The voices that surrounded him invited him to abdicate his position as one of us, Emmanuel, God with us; to become, instead, God without us, without humanity, without vulnerability, without compassion.

At the end, as at the beginning, Jesus resisted the temptation to abdicate his place as the Son of Man, the Messiah, the hope of the nations and the glory of his kingdom. He chose the cross, not, let us be quick to qualify, not to sanctify it, nor the powers of death, but to defeat them; not by taking on the instruments of death, nor even deploying armies of angels, but by denying them.

Even at the end, he refused to collaborate with the ways that punish and oppress instead of working to repent and repair and to reconcile: he forgave them, despite their spite and malice, their perverted power. He wouldn’t even give them credence: “They know nothing,” he said, “of your ways, of what is, of what will be. They know only their own sin and death.”

One of the other prisoners, condemned like Christ, for who knows what, nor whether he was guilty of it all; one of them was angry, contemptuous, understandably bitter. He wanted better from God, from God’s Messiah, from the man hanging next to him, suspended between life and death, heaven and earth, kingdom and empire. He wanted a rescue and a rout, and if not, he could see no point to the man hanging next to him, humanity incarnate, mortal, and vulnerable.

The other saw something else. Astonished out of his sourness, he heard Jesus’ words of forgiveness, and as incredulous as the other, but otherwise, he wondered, “Is that for me, too?”

Jesus said, “Yes. For you, too.”

The first one, he was included in the prayer that Jesus uttered for forbearance, but in his bitterness he failed to grasp it, missed that last taste of grace that might have made death less unbearable. He was still forgiven, by the Saviour’s prayer, but he took no comfort from it, because he could not see the way of the cross, only the way of the crucifiers.

The other saw and understood the lengths that God would go to to confront our violent ways, and to subvert them, to invert them, to defeat them with love and with life.

We make our choices every day, at every crossroads we come to. The way of the cross is not a formula: always go straight, always turn right, or left. It is a series of small decisions. Have you noticed how often, in his ministry, Jesus was distracted and diverted from his intended route by the needs of others, by the demands of grace, and the deliverance of mercy? Whether it was stopping to tell a parable to a questioner, friendly or hostile; or the provision of a miraculous meal when the desert seemed empty of bread (he resisted that temptation on his own account, but he would not leave his people hungry); or the turning in the crowd to find the one who had needed healing, to assure her that he was with her, that his love and his power could not be stolen, freely offered as it was.

We are faced with choices every day, whether to notice the needs around us or to ignore them; whether to assert our privilege, our rights; or the needs and dignity of another; whether to be human, and vulnerable, or to act like little gods.

At every crossroads, the question confronts us: which way lies love?

Take a simple trip to the grocery store. We know the way.

But (if we are able-bodied) do we take the first legal parking spot nearest the door, or leave it for someone for whom the extra steps are more of a slog than a health benefit?

If the cashiers are stretched and stressed, do we huff and puff our impatience, or offer a word of kindness and empathy, a break from the negativity that goes with long lines?

If there’s a two-for-one sale, and we have the means, do our eyes light up with the chance for a bargain, or the chance to relieve the hunger of another, through the food pantry?

Do we bring our reusable bags, for the sake of the planet and our local environment, littered as it is with plastic debris, or complain at the inconvenience of being appointed the stewards of creation by our Creator?

Do we stare at the stranger or step between them and the hostile glare of the other: today, you are with me?

Do we pause in the parking lot for the gaggle of underdressed teenagers running through the rain, or drive past in a swoosh, intent on our own concerns and generational disapproval?

Such small things may not seem to add up to a discipleship, or a way of love, but if we are not faithful in the small things, how will we ever learn how to find the way of love, the way of the cross, when we find ourselves lost at a crossroads, without signpost or a map, wondering which way to turn?

The two criminals on the crosses next to Jesus may not have been paragons of virtue; still, one had enough practice in humanity to recognize, in the pain of his neighbour, a solidarity of suffering that allowed him to hear the words of forgiveness, the words of grace, which were the power of life in the midst of death.

Christ, the king, practised his power through mercy, wielded his authority through healing, effected justice through forgiveness. Is this the kind of king we want for ourselves? Or do we, with the first man, demand rather than God incarnate, the incarnation of our all-too-human pride?

As I wrote elsewhere earlier this week, the crown that Jesus wore beneath that mocking sign was woven out of thorns; but the thorn bushes themselves recognized their creator and their king. Had they not yielded their green suppleness to the hands of the soldiers, they could have made nothing. Creation knows its king, and bows to his reign. May we have the pliancy, the constancy, the love to do the same; to crown him with our very lives, who has loved us into life itself.

 

 

 

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A crown of thorns

They twisted together a crown 
with which to anoint his brow.  
They thought to make a mockery,
but had the pliant green twigs 
not yielded of their own accord, 
their obeisance and homage 
to their king, then their hands 
would have held only dust 
rubbed into the stained creases 
of the palms where their blood, 
drawn by the thorns, 
mingled with his.


This Sunday’s Gospel reading does not mention the crown of thorns – in fact, Luke is the only evangelist not to include that particular detail of the soldiers’ mockery of Christ – but it is inescapable, because of the other three; firmly woven into the background of our shared image of the crucifixion of Christ the King.

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Remembrance

It was a Sunday  

morning, full of cake and coffee

hour, children silenced

for a moment by sugar,

if not by the lingering

spirit of prayer;

I remembered there was something

I needed to ask.

 

He was standing

halfway back down the nave,

alone in the pew,

straight and still.

 

After a minute,

or two –

I had forgotten the time –

he turned; I had already

retreated. Slowly,

because of his heart,

he rejoined the congregation

of the living, having,

I imagined,

negotiated his annual armistice

with the rest.

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