Saint Non

A little more Lenten legend. The homily was delivered at Trinity Cathedral’s Evensong on St David’s Day; Dewi’s mother, Non, who figures prominently in the legends, is celebrated the next day, on March 2nd.

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On the night that David – Dewi Sant – was born, a violent storm gripped the land of Wales and shook it, such that no one alive could venture out. The stars were ripped apart by lightning, and the thunder growled like a beast scenting its prey. In fact (or in legend, at least), there was a brutish tyrant who had heard from the druids of the imminent birth of a sainted child and who wanted, like the dragon of the Revelation, to snatch him from his mother’s birthing bed, but heaven and nature conspired to keep him from harm. The would-be evil-doer was hemmed in by the storm, and only over David’s mother, Non, the midnight sun shone as though to bathe her in the glory of God as she laboured.[i]

David – Dewi Sant – was a man full of such contrasts. His mother was Non. Recognized as a saint herself, she was a woman of great faith, virtue, inward and outward beauty. His father, on the other hand, a king of sorts – I hesitate to say it – assaulted sweet Non. The very earth was so shocked by the violation that in sympathy with the young woman, and to protect her and keep her and the nascent Dewi safe, that it broke open, forming a refuge complete with a rock bed to pillow her head and her feet.

As he grew in physical and spiritual maturity, David was sent forth to found monasteries, religious houses, which he did from Glastonbury and Bath, and across Wales as far as the western sea, at the place now known as St David’s. In his monasteries he created such rules of life as kept the monks busy throughout the hours of the clock, working by day and praying by night, to give no opportunity for temptation. According to his hagiographer, Rhygyvarch, from whose Life of David most of this legendary information is gleaned, Dewi Sant modeled himself after the desert fathers in austerity and regulation.

And yet by doing so he freed himself to a marvellous compassion.

He was known to feed and to heal the hungry, the bereft, and the blind. When it came to dinner at the monastery, while the meals were mostly bread and water, it is reported that “they provide for the sick and those advanced in age, and even those wearied by a long journey, some refreshments of a more appetizing sort, for one must not weigh out to all in equal measure”. He understood the wearied human need for kindness. When he was summoned to an urgent church council, David hesitated on the way when he heard weeping and lament. He turned aside, while his companions hurried on to satisfy those awaiting him, and upon turning he found a widow whose son had died. And like the prophets of old, the deep compassionate prayer of Dewi Sant, and his tears, which watered the boy’s face, restored him to his life.

So goes the legend. Because, as the apostle writes in his letter to the Thessalonians, that while the saint labours and toils, so it is not in order to lay their burden upon others, but to free them to see the gentleness of Christ, and the kindness of his call, understanding that religion is nothing if it does not ground itself and grow in love(1 Thessalonians 2:7b-12).

St David’s Day, being March 1st, falls frequently within Lent, when tradition has us lean toward some austerity of life, some provision for penance, some fasting and discipline. Yet in Wales, it is (I am “reliably” informed by clergy Twitter) always a feast day, celebrated with enthusiasm, because religion is nothing if it does not lead to the celebration of the mercy and goodness of God, who has given us life, who has fed us with love, our rock and our refuge, who receives all pilgrim spirits that come that way. Lenten discipline is not worth its bread and salt unless it leads us to a greater understanding of the love with which God envelops us, and which God would call out of us.

When David was born, and heaven and earth conspired to keep him and his mother safe from predatory evil, the earth split open once again, in sympathy with her birth pangs, and the rock on which she leaned melted like wax to take the imprint of her hand. Dewi was born into deep mercy.

While she was pregnant with him, Non had gone to a church to make her offering, and heard a certain preacher who found himself, upon her secret arrival, suddenly devoid of the power of divine proclamation, although he could still speak of earthly things. When he found Non, and spoke with her, the priest realized that it was the overwhelming grace contained in the child of her womb that had silenced his fine words: the life of David – Dewi Sant – would itself bear greater witness than a preacher’s words ever could to the strange, creative, earthy, and irrepressible love of God.

Amen


[i] All biographical and legendary details are from Rhygyvarch’s Life of David, translated and edited by A.W Wade-Evans (SPCK, 1923), digitized and accessed at https://archive.org/stream/MN5136ucmf_5/MN5136ucmf_5_djvu.txt

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St David

A little Lenten legend

A pigeon with a golden beak
fed him from its overflowing crop
words of grace like kisses
that he might strew abroad
with every penitential sigh
the love of our sweet Saviour;
his breath uncluttered by conceit
he proclaimed unfettered truth,
Creator’s gracious dispensation
to that and every blessed tongue
dreamed by our progenitor.
Between the rock face and the sea
where salt mist rises like a prayer,
seagulls sing yet with psaltic air.

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Money changers

A little Lenten story

The priest asked me to come and help with an afternoon christening at church, which I did. His wife (another priest) kindly entertained the children while I helped host the family gathered around the font.

After the service was over, I went next door to the vicarage while the priest closed up the church. We were just sitting down to our cups of tea when he piled in with a bemused and slightly exasperated affect.

“I’ll have my tea,” he said, “but then I’ll have to go back. They filled up the holy water stoop with loose change! I’ll have to clean it out and re[dedicate? I don’t remember quite what he said, but you get the gist] it.”

So he drank his tea and wandered back across the lawn, while his wife and I watched our children at play and wondered idly why the coins should contaminate the water, rather than the water sanctify the well-meant and only slightly misplaced offerings.

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Out of time

A little Lenten story.

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Beginning to surface from the night, sleep-weed still encircling my ankles, I thought, with langorous urgency, that I must text my mother right away;

I soothed my awakening conscience that we had kept in touch along the way through the emissary services of others.

I failed to remind it of the obvious excuse: that my mother died some sixteen years and many months ago;

I wonder what on earth she could want with me today.

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Bread, bridge, stones

A sermon for the first Sunday of Lent

There’s a fable by Edwin Friedman called, “The Bridge”.[i] In it, a man on a mission is interrupted by a stranger on a bridge, who asks him to hold the end of a rope he is carrying. The man obliges, upon which, the stranger, securely attached to the other end of the rope, jumps off the bridge. The fable unfolds as the protagonist considers his obligations to the stranger who has now put him in a frankly untenable position.

Now, we are familiar, through our prayers, with the fact that we are dependent on one another and on God for our life and its welfare: we pray during Compline, “O God, your unfailing providence sustains the world we live in and the life we live: … and grant that we may never forget that our common life depends upon each other’s toil.”[ii] We are, in all sort of ways, yoked together, and we are nothing without the grace of God.

The second temptation, though, is enacted by the stranger, who by his action chooses to abdicate all accountability for his life, with all of its gifts and its promise and its problems; he throws off all responsibility for its (literal) trajectory, and tries to make another bear its entire weight.

The temptation to fall from the pinnacle of the temple is less, “Let go and let God” than “Let go and force God’s hand”; or, as Jesus would have it, “Let go and test God”. Let go and try to manipulate your Maker. Then wait and see how that goes.

Oh, it is a temptation, to put all of the weight of the world on someone else; to shed accountability by means of another’s responsibility; to elude guilt by making a scapegoat; to become helpless, and in doing so, pretend to innocence.

We see it in the stories of Genesis. You know, although we didn’t read it today, that Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent, for their disobedience; yet Eve told the serpent the command that God had given them, and as we did read this morning, Adam was right there with her – he was as much a part of the whole thing as was she.

If the first temptation was to eat what should not be eaten (and we will come back to that), the second was to deny all responsibility for what was consumed; to pretend that we were taken in.

It’s how we deal with racism, with sexism, with poverty: we didn’t create these conditions, we didn’t know right from wrong, we didn’t see …

It’s how we deal with one another, sometimes: if they’d behaved better, I’d behave better. They shouldn’t be so sensitive. They should just get a job. I didn’t think they were serious. I didn’t know, they didn’t tell me, it was loaded.

The man on the bridge, in the story, the man on a mission left holding the rope was not oblivious to his new and unwanted responsibility. He was, whether he liked it or not, for now his brother’s keeper. He tried to help the stranger by handing him back the agency for his own rescue:

“While he could not pull this other up solely by his own efforts, if the other would shorten the rope from his end by curling it around his waist again and again, together they could do it. …

“Now listen,” he shouted down. “I think I know how to save you.” And he explained his plan.”[iii]

I’ll let you look up the ending of the story for yourselves, and decide on its moral. I think it’s taken us about as far as its rope will stretch; while “our common life depends upon each other’s toil”, our salvation is not in our own hands, it is the gift of God.

But, oh, if we would be human to one another, and to ourselves; own our agency, help those at the end of their rope as we are able, and participate in our own rescue, through repentance and a return to the community of love … God has never yet let us down, let us go.

The temptation to abscond from our own lives, our agency, our responsibility, by throwing ourselves not even on the mercy but on the miracle-working of God, strikes me as peculiarly selfish. In the third temptation, the pitfalls of absolute power are obvious. In the first, the hunger for bread is thoroughly human and understandable; it is no sin to eat. But in the centre, here on the pinnacle of the temple, the temptation to make our lives everyone’ and anyone’s responsibility but our own, at least once we have reached the age of maturity, is a thorough corruption of the human spirit, and the image in which we were made.

Of course, Jesus, who is all integrity and wisdom, will not fall for the devil’s tricks.

Jesus, whose very life embodies the self-giving love of God, a life lived not for himself alone but for the whole world, will not fall prey to the temptations of selfishness.

Which brings us back to the first temptation. Interestingly, although the second and third temptations switch places throughout the Gospels, this one always comes first. I wonder what that means.

There is no sin in eating bread, in sustaining body and soul together. There is no virtue in fasting for its own sake, but only if it is used to bring us closer to the God who sustains our lives, and reminds us of the hunger for righteousness which seeks the kingdom of heaven, in which all are fed, and forgiven, and beloved.

What Jesus resists is the temptation, once more, to selfishness. When we see Jesus with bread in the Gospels, it is always to share. Whether it is feeding the multitude on the mountainside, or remembering the plea of the child: “Who among you when your child asks for bread would give her a stone?”, or giving of himself on the night before he died, breaking bread and handing it to his disciples, saying, “Take, eat: this is my body”; not falling but freely giving of himself. Not falling, but giving freely of oneself; for that is how we find ourselves among the ministe


[i] Edwin H. Friedman, “The Bridge”, in Friedman’s Fables (The Guildford Press, 1990)

[ii] Book of Common Prayer, 134

[iii] Friedman, “The Bridge”

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The story of Barry Baker

A little legend for Lent


Once upon a time, an indeterminate number of centuries ago, a little boy was found on the Barry Island beach. The child, not more than a year old, was wrapped in a blanket and laid in a basket to shield him from the stiff sea breeze, and he was sleeping peacefully when he was stumbled across – almost literally – by the village baker. Where he had come from was a mystery, to be sure, but a hastily-assembled town meeting decided that he must stay; he was their gift and their treasure. Because the baker had found him, he went to live at the bakery with the Master Baker and her wife. The villagers called him Barry, since he was theirs, and Baker seemed as good a surname as any.

Barry Baker grew up like any child, although on a summer’s day the clouds reflected in his eyes seemed to tell of faraway places and unseen dimensions. He was liked well enough, and was a great help in the bakery.

When Barry was about grown, a terrible drought fell across South Wales. The rivers stopped running, the crops failed, the lambs cried for milk, and their mothers lowed mournfully. There was a terrible hunger in the Vale. 

The time came in which there was no more flour at all with which to bake bread. The people dragged themselves through the days, forty or more, of emptiness. They were losing hope.

At the end of a particularly tortuous day, the baker and her wife kissed Barry good night and said goodbye; they no longer relied on the rising of another sun. 

But Barry did not go to bed. He went instead to the baking counter, and drew together a large clump of thin air. He began to knead, as though kneading a great lump of dough. He kneaded away at the nothingness, and he worked so hard and so long that droplets of sweat ran down his hair and fell into a puddle on the countertop. He kneaded away such that the nothingness at last seemed almost to begin to turn into somethingness.

The next morning, the baker thought she was hallucinating; a new phase of the unchosen fast. There was the delicious aroma of fresh bread coming from the bakery kitchen. She went to shake her wife awake, but she was already sitting on the edge of the bed, her mouth open and her eyes wild: “Is this heaven?” she asked.

They crawled down the stairs and found the fire ablaze and a perfect loaf, fresh from the oven, steaming quietly on the countertop. They threw open the doors and called hoarsely to their neighbours to come, come quickly!

They divided the bread between them, savouring every morsel, and they found beside it even a pool of water, fresh and clear, on the bakery counter. A shallow dip had appeared, as though worn away by a century of dripping water, and there was enough to dampen everyone’s lips and tongue as they enjoyed the bread between them.

Only one person was missing from the simplest and most sustaining of feasts. The baker and her wife would hear their neighbours often sorrow that Barry seemed to have left just as salvation was within their grasp. But in their hearts, they knew where he was. 

After the drought was over, and the times of plenty returned, long after the baker was old and gray, the village would gather annually at the bakery to share bread and toast with water sweet as wine the memory of Barry Baker.

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Bread

A little Lenten story


I made my own bread when the children were small, with the aid of a machine. They ate it ravenously, sometimes playing Eucharist: “This is my toast, given for you.”

My eldest bequeathed me a recipe that needs no kneading, no machine but the oven. It is the easiest, the most forgiving bread recipe. I have made it many times, in many variations. I have sometimes made it to share, but more often it sits upon the counter at home, barely cooling, tempting me to gorge myself on its soft, warm flesh.

I bought a smaller cast iron oven in which to lessen the lure. I should have bought larger, or more, multiplied the loaves so that I have no choice but to give them away, to share the satisfaction of solid, fluffy bread, the many variations, the “taste and see”, to defeat the temptation not of enjoyment, but of selfishness.


Well, of course you want the recipe! (The photo is not of this bread. I ate it all.) https://tasty.co/recipe/dutch-oven-jalapeno-cheddar-bread

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Stigmata?

A little Lenten story

She found a strange bruise on one foot –

stigmata, perhaps, if it spread? –

but it soaked away in the bath instead,

leaving an emptiness to blossom

somewhere behind her left breast, unseen.

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Ash Wednesday

We are dust, and to dust we shall return.

Lent is a time, if nowhen else is, to get real about who we are, what we are, how we are. It is a time, Jesus says, to forget about performing for the public. It is a time to get close to our maker, closer than is comfortable; to take off the masks and the fine words and the perfect prayers, and to be the dust and ashes of ourselves in the presence of the one who breathes dust and ashes into life.

We are dust, and we are ashes. We are lighter than a breath, ready to be erased by the slightest breeze; yet also we smudge, leaving our mark on those we touch, for good or for ill. We are elements moulded into the image of life, of God.

We are dust, and we are moved, swept up by the breath of God.

Lent is the time to take courage, to have the structure to pull our dust together and face God, face the one who is unseen but who sees us more clearly than any mirror, to be real, to be honest, to ask forgiveness, to expect renewal, to practice being exactly whom God has created us to be.

It is not about piety, choosing the right fast or the correct discipline, taking up the perfect number of extra duties, laying down the measured amount of penitence. 

God sees us, sees our secret selves, our inner being, our dust and ashes, our shining faces. God sees through us.

Lent is a time, if nowhen else is, not to perform piety, but to practice humility; not to perform beneficence, but to practice generosity; not to perform mourning but to practice grief, for all that is done that should have been left undone; for all that should have been done that has been left undone; with tears and trembling, and the sure and certain knowledge that God, who is compassion and mercy, sees us.

Lent is a time to remember that although we are but dust, God is life itself. Although we are but ashes, God burns with a passion for us that has no equal and makes no sense. Although we are lighter than the breath of an angel, we have weight and value on the scales of God’s mercy. Nothing, no one whom God has made can escape without being beloved.

We are dust, and it is truly extraordinary what God can do with that.

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Shrove Tuesday

O God of branches and hosannas,
forgive the dried state of last year’s palms;
trampled by Holy Week and scant adoration,
they have desiccated, as our hearts
too often do, too.

Kindle them, our hearts and our psalms,
to fresh devotion.

Let their very ashes be the sign
of our sifting and turning,
awakening once more to the mercy
of You.

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