Praying alone

The writing was on the wall outside:
the service ended hours ago; the people gone to
their Sunday dinners, families, fire sides.
The church empty, gaping open, sat
stone cold and silent as the grave,
its pews petrified, unforgiving,
its prayerbooks written in Welsh,
a mess of consonants, indecipherable,
unpronounceable, except for
the writing on walls inside, the names
proclaiming an eternal presence,
an endless cycle of prayer.
Transported, I followed along as their
unheard voices preached the gospel,
passed the peace,
celebrated with the angels and saints,
holy, holy, on holy ground
they drew me quietly into their embrace.

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All Hallows Eve

all saints 003Reaching through the darkness in the long, dark night,
a soul might lose it way, fall away, if not for the light, beckoning.
All in white they stand before the throne of light,
shining through the hollow pumpkins, porchlights, tealights,
singing softened only by the hum of electricity, made harmless,
harnessed; there is nothing to be frightened of.
At midnight, when the lights are out and the world is darkest,
all the saints reach through the night and dawn quietly upon us.

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Year C Proper 25: Stand closer

Have you ever read the brilliant dystopian novel, Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley? I won’t give the whole game away, but one of the themes in the book is social engineering, which is achieved by a mixture of genetic manipulation and social conditioning. Growing children are trained and moulded to their place in society, and to be glad that they are not like some others they could mention. In just the second chapter, we are introduced to the idea by the Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning. A group of Beta children are sleeping, and listening while they sleep to an undercurrent of whispered messages:

‘“Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they’re so frightfully clever. I’m really awfully glad I’m a Beta, because I don’t work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don’t want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They’re too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides, they wear black, which is such a beastly colour. I’m so glad I’m a Beta.”’

A few chapters later, the conditioning has taken: ‘“I’m glad I’m not an Epsilon,” said Lenina, with conviction. “And if you were an Epsilon,” said Henry, “your conditioning would have made you no less thankful that you weren’t a Beta or an Alpha.”’

 

A Pharisee prayed, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.”

 

A follower of Jesus, a reformed tax collector, having heard the parable and Jesus’ commentary upon it, taking note of who was justified and who was not, might have prayed, “God, I thank you that I am not like that Pharisee.”

 

Most of the characters in the story play pretty much to type. The Pharisee is satisfied that he has done what he can to lead a righteous life, and he trusts God to reward his virtue and his faithfulness. He even has sufficient grace to ascribe to God the credit for his ability to lead a better life than those around him, but he is a bit full of himself. One wonders what secret sin he is hiding.

 

The tax collector is thoroughly ashamed of himself, as well he might be. He is not only corrupt and self-serving; no, it is not his self-service that shames him so thoroughly but his service of Caesar. This man is a collaborator, a cowardly, creeping collaborator. Maybe he had his reasons. Maybe they threatened his family, or burned down his house, or beat down his resistance, but one way or another he has sold his soul to Rome, and now he is ashamed in the presence of God, his face burning and downcast; yet still he has the grace to ascribe to God mercy, even sufficient mercy for one such as he.

 

Jesus as usual is turning things on their heads, messing with the social order, exalting the humble and tumbling the mighty and the haughty types to the bottom of the table. His audience, no doubt scandalized as ever, yet secretly rejoicing in how the mighty are fallen.

 

Only God is inscrutable.

 

From the moment in the earliest stories, when God accepted Abel’s offering over Cain’s, it has been difficult for us to know exactly what we can do to be justified, to be the perfect, the best offering that we can guarantee will be an acceptable sacrifice. We try to organize things so that we know; like the Pharisee, we assume that a tithe here and a kind deed there, refraining from the obvious crimes like murder, theft, adultery; we hope that those will stand us in good stead. And yet here comes this weasley, wheedling tax collector, beating his breast, and he goes home justified. It’s enough to make a faithful Pharisee wonder whatever is the point?

 

There is an interesting alternative translation of the Greek that sends the tax collector home justified, which says that he was justified along with the Pharisee, rather than instead of him.[1] Reading that made me wonder this week what would have happened if, instead of setting themselves apart, one out of shame, one out of pride, these two men had come together to pray. What might they have learned from one another?

 

The tax collector certainly could have used some tips on righteous living. The Pharisee might have learned, if he’d gotten a little closer, what true repentance really sounds like; how painfully honest it is possible to be before God.

 

The thing is that no matter where we find ourselves in this story, it is God who determines our worth, our value, our righteousness, our justification; and God reserves the right to be unexpected, to do the unthinkable, to forgive the unforgivable and love the unlovable. God moves children and slaves to prophesy, according to the prophet Joel, and we had better listen. God rescues Daniels and Sauls, saints and sinners from the lion’s den, and we are astonished. God hears the prayers of the righteous and of the unrighteous, and answers them. “O you who answer prayer!” says the Psalm: “To you all flesh shall come.” (Psalm 65:2)

 

I wouldn’t think that the point of the story for the Pharisee is that there is no point in his careful religious observance. He gains much in the way of spiritual awakening, of good relationships in his community, the satisfaction of giving and the blessings of being a leader in his chosen society. But he needs to remember to give thanks for his fellow members of society, and not simply to give thanks that he isn’t one of them. He needs to remember some humility before God and before his fellow person, to recognize that we each have something to offer, that we each have something to teach one another, that anyone can be a messenger of God, prophesying repentance, reflecting mercy. Writing off the tax collector as beneath his notice, beneath his contempt, was a poor move on the part of the Pharisee. He would have done better to have gotten a little closer, to hear the other man’s prayer, and add his own Amen.

 

At the end of yesterday’s prayer walk, a gentleman from a different Christian tradition from our own commented on how enlightening it was to come together with members of different churches, to pray and celebrate our commonality, instead of judging and separating ourselves from one another. Celebrating our ability to pray together, acknowledging God’s grace shared out amongst many, was so much warmer than the cold winds of separatism. It was good to walk together.

 

Even amongst ourselves, I would challenge us to recognize those tendencies to separate ourselves from those we do not stand close to, do not understand, or like. Here before God, we would do better to love our neighbour, starting with those right here, perhaps, and learn from their prayers. Perhaps they may surprise us. I would love to challenge each of you during the coffee hour to try to find someone you don’t normally talk to, or don’t know well at all, and find out something new about them, and tell them something of your own hopes, prayers, thanksgivings.

 

The whispering voices which brought us up to think that we were different from the others, that we were not like “them,” and that we should be thankful, they should be heard with caution. We have more in common than we have differences, because we are all children of one God. We have more to be thankful for in one another than apart from one another, because God made us to be together, to love one another. We should not assume that we know all there is to know about one another, because God is full of surprises for each and every one of us, and has a tendency to do the unexpected, like justifying the Pharisee alongside the tax collector; like saving you, and even me.

 

 


[1] The Jewish Annotated New Testament, Amy-Jill Levine and Marc Z. Brettler (eds) (Oxford University Press, 2011), Luke 18:14, note

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Prayers, overheard

Each stood away from the other, his face turned anyway but there,
no meeting of eyes for these two, let alone hearts, minds.
One looked up to heaven, his prayer belying his blindness to the other,
“Thank God I am not like him! Such shame I could not bear!”
Did the other hear him? Did that prompt his fall,
his face turned down to the ground and the underworld,
his soul beaten down by his fist against his breast,
his conscience overwhelmed by the tragedy of it all?
And if the first then heard his humility,
would he in turn become convicted and find himself
strangely drawn to God’s mercy instead of this
haughty, hopeless economy,
and two were saved for the price of one,
so that heaven resounded with unexpected delight?

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Bigger on the inside

Fans of the tardis already know that it is bigger on the inside than it appears from the outside; but it’s not the only thing that is built that way.

Life. Way more gets packed into it than anyone would believe.

Labyrinths. Compacted pathways that cover miles (or portions of them) while taking up a corner of a garden, a segment of a transept; it always seems to take forever to reach the centre, but the journey is easy; straightforward in a roundabout way.

Mirror mazes are the opposite; smaller than they look; tricky and mean.

Retreats. Mine lasted from about eight in the morning, when everyone left, till about three in the afternoon, when they started coming home and woke me from an apparently much-needed nap. Short, but filled with prayer, a pilgrimage, fasting, breaking fast and even a nap thrown in for good measure.

Also, a labyrinth.

It’s bigger on the inside, and it also features the shapes of bow ties (which are cool) and a central star shape. Suitable for religious or secular meditation, may it transport you through space and time and always return, in the end, to the exact present, necessary moment.

.

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Year C Proper 24: On the need to pray always and not to lose heart

The days are coming, says the Lord, says Jeremiah, the days are surely coming when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah. I will be their God, and they shall be my people. The days are surely coming. And Jesus affirms the words of the prophet: Will not God listen to those who cry out day and night? Will God delay to do justice? The days are surely coming.

But what do we do while we are waiting?

Patience is not easy to come by. We live in a world run riot with fast this and instant that and quickie the other. We are barely able to contain ourselves while we fast forward through the adverts to get back to our favourite show. Heaven help the person who hesitates for half a second when the traffic light turns green – unless she’s a big fan of the car horn symphony orchestra! Waiting for the yes or no on a job application can be all-consuming. Waiting for medical test results, school exam results, waiting to find out whether the fog will lift and the plane will leave, waiting in line for the drive through when there are four, count them, four whole cars ahead of us! – most of us don’t do so well with waiting. We change lanes repeatedly to try to find a shortcut through the traffic jam when really, everyone’s on the same road. We check our email compulsively, almost convulsively, to see if the answer’s come through yet. We want what we want, and we want it now!

But that desire can be a good thing, it can be a driving force for getting on, for learning, for growing, if it is tempered with patience rather than impatience, persistence rather than frustration. Because patience is not necessarily passive, and persistence doesn’t have to be rude.

You may have noticed a certain theme to the hymnody that we’re using this morning. It’s a harvest festival, celebrating the in-gathering of our gifts to the food pantry, our successful first season in the garden, our ongoing stewardship campaign, and highlighting the offerings of our music ensemble. You know, to learn a musical instrument takes tremendous amounts of both patience and persistence. If you are too impatient for perfection, you will all too easily give up hope and lose interest in the instrument. It’s easy to make a horrible noise on a school recorder. It takes a lot more effort to make it joyfully, knowing that it is one more step towards something beautiful.

Growing a garden takes a mixture of that practical persistence and passive patience. You have to keep the faith: watering and weeding and waiting; but there are so many variables that are out of our control: the weather, the wild animals, the variety of whims to which nature is inclined. But, says the letter to Timothy, be persistent whether the time is favourable or unfavourable.

Of course, the letter-writer is talking not about practicing the piano or growing a garden, but about sharing our faith, persistently and patiently, whether the time is good or bad, his point being that there is never a bad time to share the love of God, the hope that is in Jesus Christ, the promise that the days are surely coming when justice will prevail and God’s kingdom will come, God’s will be done here on earth as it is in heaven. There is never a bad time to advocate for justice. But like so many good things, it takes patience. It takes persistent and faithful patience, persistent and patient hope.

The widow, in the Gospel story, is anything but patient. She is more like us in the traffic gridlock, angry and a little bit out of control. She is, in fact, literally beating up on the judge. The words that our translation uses are very gentle, but the image of the original language is much less genteel. We are used to reading parables as allegories: this stands for that; we are the widow, God is the judge; but this judge is the epitome of all that is godless, and the widow is a cartoon character of a little old lady beating up on him with her umbrella. We do not, I think, see ourselves following the widow’s example by beating God into submission with our prayers.

So what does it mean for Jesus to tell a parable about needing to pray always and not to lose heart?

I wonder if the key is there at the very beginning: do not lose heart. I wonder if it is there at the end: will the Son of Man find faith, that patient and persistent hope?

I know that God listens to our prayers. We don’t need to beat God like a lazy judge – God is swift with mercy and abundant in grace and love. God has promised seedtime and harvest in their due season. The days are surely coming, says the prophet, when God will say, they will be my people, and I will be their God. Remembering, when times are difficult, when progress is patchy at best, when the harvest doesn’t grow or gets washed away, burned away, buried by snow; remembering that God is faithful, that the days are surely coming; that is what takes patience and persistence.

And prayer, talking to God, staying in touch with God, recognizing that our lives are lived in the presence, the ever-attentive, responsive presence of God; prayer helps. It helps to keep us hopeful. It helps to keep us connected. It helps us to recognize God’s mercy when it happens, God’s unexpected graces when they fall.

Sometimes, when our prayers are repeated week after week, we wonder if we have the patience to persist; but like a musical talent blossoming or a garden blooming, the only way forward is faithful devotion, persistent practice, and perhaps a little patience.

Does prayer change the mind of God? I really don’t know how to answer that. I know that God is not a lazy judge who needs bullying into action; God is always good. But I know, too, that prayer does change us. It changes the person praying, entering into partnership with God in a moment of intentional intimacy. It changes the people prayed for, too.

One morning this week I woke up knowing that the day to come would be something of a trial. I began to pray, but it was difficult. You know when your thoughts are on a loop and it’s hard to find the end of them in order to find the beginning? It was difficult to know where to start. Then I remembered the people who had promised to pray for me that morning; the five women I meet with every Monday morning to discuss these scriptures and share their applications to our lives and ministries. I remembered that they were praying for me, and resting in their prayers, I found myself able to join with them, and to enter the day with the confidence that is within the gift of God’s grace.

(Not long afterwards, when I turned on my phone, the first thing that popped up was an email from one of the women, saying, “We’re praying for you,” followed by a chorus of Amens from the others. I wasn’t just imagining it!)

In a few moments we will join together in the Prayers of the People. We will pray to God for the church, the world, for ourselves and for our families and friends. We do so in faith that God is listening, and will take our prayers to heart, and answer them as God best can: God’s will be done, God’s kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. In praying together we can encourage one another in faith and trust, knowing that there is no unfavourable time for God’s mercy, no poor time to pray.

I am going to ask you, then, to think as we move towards our prayers together, of what it is that you are waiting patiently for, what problems persist, where you need God’s promise in your life, in our lives together. Remember those thanksgivings, too, which prayer recognizes. Bring those prayers to the silence between our petitions, and speak them to God. Speak them into the silence, and know that God is listening; and be at peace.

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Back and forth

How long, Lord, how long?
The days are surely coming;
God will not delay.

How long, Lord, before
justice rolls like a river?
God will not delay.

How long, Lord, how long?
Pray without ceasing, knowing
the days are coming….

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The widow’s might

I might be tempted call her a nag, or a scold, or a hag, or worse. A woman I knew said, “My husband says I am an advocate for our child; but I know that’s not the word that the head of school uses to describe me when I get off the phone.” Women are still accused of being strident or shrill if they raise their voices, unladylike if they take off their shoes and their kid gloves. Yet here, centuries before women’s lib was outdated, here is a character who knows her right to be recognized, to be justified. She knows that in the economy of the kingdom of God she has just as much worth as a worthless judge, and she is not afraid to say so, nor to keep saying so, whatever the judge might call her behind her back. What’s more, she is not doing it for a child or a sister or a friend; she is not hiding her own worth behind someone else’s. She owns her own value.

There’s a whole lot else in this story, but this fearless female spoke to me.

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Your faith has saved you

There are those who believe that a world in which miracles happen is one in which we could not live without the unpredictability driving us insane. Others feel that a world without miracles is one in which we would not want to live, hope being driven thus to despair. I believe profoundly that miracles happen, but to expect them would, I think, be paradoxical, since miracles are by definition outside of our expectations of how things happen. They are mysterious, sometimes showy, sometimes subtle, sometimes secret, always astonishing.
Ten people suffering from leprosy were healed. One, a Samaritan man, came back to say thank you, praising God loudly as he did so. Jesus told him, after a few choice words about the others, “your faith has made you well.”
They are words which bring hope to many; following hard on the heels of his assurance that even a mustard seed faith has tremendous power. But they are dangerous words, too, which have been used to faith-shame the sick, the sad, the sorry, and which have deprived others of medical care. My faith contains within it the trust that God gave us the kind of brains that can dream up mind blowing medical technologies for a reason.
But I digress.
What did it mean for Jesus to tell the Samaritan that faith had healed him? What healed the other nine? What was the difference?
There is an awkward feel to the words that Jesus chooses to talk about the Samaritan’s return: “was none found to return except this foreigner?” Earlier in the gospel, the language of lost and found was used to describe repentance, those returned to God’s embrace. “This foreigner,” religiously suspect in standard Jewish judgement, nevertheless knew exactly whom to praise when good things befell him; he came back praising God loudly.
It is possible that when Jesus told him, “your faith has made you well,” if I am reading my Greek correctly (never a given, although a quick flick through the commentaries gives me confidence), a more precise translation might be, “your faith has saved you.”
It is possible that at this point, Jesus was talking less about the healing miracle that he shared with nine others than the miracle of his repentance, his gratitude, his praise of God which completed his healing, cured his soul as well as his body, restored him to wholeness.
Such an interpretation fits with Jesus’ concern for the restoration of lost sheep, lost sons, lost coins to the fold and the family. It explains why this man heard these words, while the oblivious nine wandered away amazed and bemused by their physical cure, which Jesus had rendered to them. It suggests that our salvation, our wholeness, our well being rests on more than physical fitness or a cure.
I believe in miracles. I believe in the power of prayer and the gift of faith which is a gift from God. I believe that being saved means, among other things, being restored to a place where we can praise God even in a world where leprosy exists, even after countless years of suffering, even when we don’t really understand what is happening or why. I believe that the faith which Jesus commended was the fundamental trust in God which made the Samaritan sure that all of the blessings of this life flow directly from God’s hand, which made him extravagantly grateful, which assured him that he was acceptable in Jesus’ sight, welcome to return to him, even a foreigner such as he.

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Year C Proper 22: All that we need

Whether the Psalm is spoken or sung or whispered behind closed doors, there is no softening that last line, with its vicious dreams of vengeance. We might be tempted to ask what it’s doing in our Bible, or at least in our lectionary; language like this with its yearning for atrocity. But here’s the thing: if we were to hide our history of bitterness and anger, of envy and regret; if we were to cleanse our collective spiritual autobiography of oppression and violent revolt, we would be tempted to deny that such things could ever take hold of us again. Whereas we see in Syria children gassed to pay back their parents for their disobedience and dissidence; we see in our cities gang violence: a life for a life, an atrocity for an atrocity; we see in the online comments section of the local papers vitriol and vindictive language, cruel intent. We are not immune to the despair that afflicted the Judeans carried off by the Chaldeans, weeping by the rivers of Babylon; and we are not immune to poisonous and paralysing anger. We shudder at such uncivilized language, but we live in a less civilized world than we might wish to hope.

We know that we need to do better. Whether they really meant it or were simply venting, it is to our credit that we turn away from such violent images as those we say in some of the Psalms. It is a right and a good thing to reject revenge and vilify abuse and atrocity. We are on the right path when we long for peace: peace between nations, peace amongst enemies, peace within our hearts and our families.

So what are we to do about it?

“Lord, increase our faith.”

That was the apostles’ response to the dilemma: Fix it for us. Fix us. Make it right; make us right. Make us strong and faithful and good and wise and loving and true and godly. Increase our faith.

They had been listening to Jesus. He had told stories of rich men and poor people and placing God above all worldly wealth; he had, when the disciples make this request for more faith, just been staking out the responsibilities of leadership, of helping others out of sin, not putting stumbling blocks in their way, but helping them over temptation, breaking old patterns of sinful desire, leading them in right pathways. He had been talking about forgiveness, about forgiving over and over again, until the old hard habits of vengeance finally died. He was speaking to them, these simple fisher folk from Galilee and their friends, as leaders of the new church that was to come, with great and awesome responsibilities, and they were afraid.

“Lord, increase our faith.”

Otherwise, how can we do it? How can we avoid leading others into temptation? How can we deliver them from evil, even the evil of their own hearts? How can we forgive others as God forgives? Unless you increase our faith, like it’s some sort of superpower, we are toast. Our ancestors, as wonderful and wise as they were, broke down and wept by the rivers of Babylon, and made wild noises about atrocities they had seen, which they would pay back, and sometimes, even now, seeing the Romans within the gates of the holy city, seeing their cruel ways, even now, seeing the death that oppression and depression and despair can deal, even now, we see red, and sometimes we know how our ancestors felt, as though they were well beyond deliverance from evil.

“Lord, increase our faith.”

At first, Jesus’ response might seem like a brush-off, even a rebuke. “Faith? What faith? If you had faith the size of a mustard seed…”

But look again. When Jesus tells the story of the unthanked servant, he might as well be telling the disciples, “I may not say it every day, that you are working well, that you are doing just what you are meant to be doing, serving the kingdom of God, but that doesn’t mean that you are not on the right track, doing just what you are meant to be doing, no more but certainly no less; and you are vital to the household of God.” When the disciples take Jesus to task for demanding so much discipleship in a few chapters’ time, citing what they had left for him, with never a backward glance, Jesus will affirm their faith, and their sacrifice: “I tell you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not get back very much more in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.” (Luke  18:29-30)

When Jesus says to them, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,” he is speaking to people who already have faith, who have more faith than a mustard seed could measure. What he is telling them is that they already have enough. What he is telling them is that with great responsibility comes great power.

Do we really think that he would send them out with nothing: no purse or sandals or spare tunic, and no faith (see Luke 10:1-24, 22:35)? They already have within them what it takes to do exactly what it is they are called to do: to spread the gospel, cast out demons, raise up people of hope in a land of despair.

The second letter to Timothy makes exactly that point: “I am reminded of your sincere faith …I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you …; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.”

Whatever it is we think that we lack, personally, by way of things like faith and fortitude, or corporately, worrying about numbers of people in the pews, children in the Sunday School, contact with the community, tithes of treasure and time and talent – whatever deficiency we think is holding us back from doing the work that we are called as disciples of Jesus to do has already been made good by God’s reaching out to us in Jesus Christ, by God’s call on us to become disciples. With that great responsibility comes great power.

The anointing that we received at baptism, the anointing of the Holy Spirit each and every Pentecost, each and every time, in fact, we ask for it: these things carry great power. What we need, more than a fresh injection of faith, is the courage to use it. What we need, more than to supersize our order of prayer, is to wield it. What we need, we already have. What we need is to remember to use it at all times and in all places for the good of the kingdom of God.

October marks the month of our annual stewardship campaign, and most of you should have received letters this week; if you didn’t, and you think you should have, please let me know or call the office. Today we launch our stewardship campaign, and yet the scriptures tell us, rather than asking for more, that we already have everything that we need to do the work that has been entrusted to us as the church of God, to proclaim good news to the poor and freedom to the captives, peace among all people. All that remains is to use it faithfully.

We have everything we need to uproot an oak tree and plant it in the middle of Lake Erie. More usefully, we have everything we need to carry the kingdom of God into the heart of Euclid, and plant it there. We have Jesus. We have God’s own Christ, God’s own Spirit. We have all that we need to sing, all that we need to heal, all that we need to grow. We have all that we need to make a difference.

Thanks be to God.

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