Feeling the ground with his hands,
touching the soil with his feet,
kissing the earth, Lazarus,
unbound, raises his face to see
his friends retreat – in fear
they have let him go –
stares at Jesus with eyes
too dry to weep.
Feeling the ground with his hands,
touching the soil with his feet,
kissing the earth, Lazarus,
unbound, raises his face to see
his friends retreat – in fear
they have let him go –
stares at Jesus with eyes
too dry to weep.
sun striking chapel
bells call to morning prayer
unanswerable
Count seconds between
eruptions; dog howl fear strikes:
cell phone lightning storm.
“What do you want me to do for you?”
When I heard Jesus asking this of Bartimaeus, I was struck by the coincidence that two Sundays in a row we have heard basically the same question.
“What is it that you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked James and John last week. “What do you want me to do for you?” he now asks Bartimaeus, the bold blind man who will not be quelled by the crowd, who will be heard by the Son of David, the Messiah, who will use his faith to find his saviour.
It’s a really good question, because it goes to the heart of the matter. It is not a wish-fulfillment flannel – “What do you want most in the world?” It demands relationship, it demands discernment of the resources at hand, of what can be done, what should already have been done for ourselves, what might be: “What do you want ME to do for you?” asks Jesus.
I know a Christian physician who says that he uses this question to get to the heart of the visit that his patient makes to his office. The patient might have a million different concerns; but there is a reason that he has come to this doctor on this day. There is something that she thinks this person can do for her, which no one else can provide, and it is finding out what that thing is that can be a challenge, tuning in among all the static. Asking, “What is that you want ME to do for YOU?” can help both parties focus, and can help with the process of healing.
One of the aspects of wisdom that this physician had learned from Jesus was not to take for granted the insight that he already had into the other person’s needs. Bartimaeus is waiting by the side of the road for Jesus to pass by, and he calls out for mercy. Of course, we think, he wants his sight, he wants healing, and we are right. But Jesus has to ask, because he is not a mercy dispensing machine. This is about relationship. This is about what you need from me, what I need from you, specifically. It is about seeing the person in front of you.
When I was working my hospital chaplaincy internship, I learned to ask the question a little differently. I could sit in a patient’s room for an hour, listening to their stories, hearing their complaints, their pain and their sorrow. I could wrap it all into a prayer at the end, lifting to God the concerns I had heard; or I could ask, “What is it that you want Jesus to do for you? What do you want to pray about today?”
Pretty soon I learned that this was where the healing visit really began. A patient facing an arduous orthopaedic surgery really wanted to talk to God about her teenager, about his struggles, her fears for his safety, his sanity, his life. Another was afraid to go home. Yet another wanted God to get on and take her to heaven right now, where all of her loved ones already lived; they came to her in her dreams.
I learned to ask the question earlier in the visit, so that we could get to the point while I still had time to sit and listen as the patient finally and faithfully articulated just what it was they wanted Jesus to do for them.
So by now, if you are anything like me, you are sitting in your pew, lifting up items from your deepest needs and desires, weighing them and sorting them, deciding whether they rise to the level of what you want Jesus to do for you; whether you dare ask for them, or whether they are things you should have done already for yourself. In a crisis, it is easy to know what to ask.
“Jesus, my little daughter is at the point of death.” “Jesus, if you will, you can make me clean.” “Jesus, they have run out of wine.”
Some things are not ours to ask, as Jesus tried to tell James and John.
Others are things that Jesus has already done for us: “Save me!”
And so I want you to take a few moments now, if you feel safe doing so you may close your eyes, and see Jesus standing right in front of you, asking you, “What is it you want me to do for you?”
Do not listen to the voices of the crowd shouting you down. They don’t know what they are talking about; Jesus calls you to stand before him.
If you are so inclined, you may want to write something down. Otherwise, hold it in your heart.
“What is it that you want me to do for you?”
…
However you use this time, this prayer, this encounter with Jesus, I encourage you, as the week goes on, each time you pray to revisit that question, to spend a little time standing face to face with Jesus, who is asking, “What do you want me to do for you?”.
Take some time to find out what it means for your relationship with Jesus, to ask and to answer that fairly fundamental question honestly. To seek Christ’s company in the heart of your life, in your deepest needs and desire.
Do not be discouraged by the voices that would shout you down; persevere in prayer. Hear instead the shouts of encouragement:
“Take heart; get up, he is calling you.”
Three, even two years ago, my shoulder didn’t burn, my hip didn’t pop,
my knee didn’t stab me in the back halfway round the supermarket.
Since the spring, we have been on cooler terms,
tending to the necessities with icy politeness, my body and I,
feigning ignorance of the Damoclean stalactites,
our mutually assured destruction, gathering overhead.
James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” And he said to them, “What is it you want me to do for you?” And they said to him, “Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.” (Mark 10:35-37)
Thomas Merton stood on the corner of Fourth and Walnut Street in Louisville, and he had a vision, in which he realized, he says, that he loved people; all of the people; that they were his people, and he was theirs.
It is a glorious destiny to be a member of the human race, though it is a race dedicated to many absurdities and one which makes many terrible mistakes; yet, with all that, God Himself gloried in becoming a member of the human race. … I have the immense joy of being man, a member of a race in which God Himself became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. And if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.*
James and John had it partly right, when they asked to be with Jesus in his glory. Of course, they had it partly wrong, as well, and Jesus set them straight.
What we miss in the telling of this story this Sunday is that the twins are responding directly to Jesus’ latest warning to his disciples that their journey to Jerusalem, to the seat of God’s glory, by tradition; that their journey to Jerusalem will end in ignominy, and insult, and death.
They were on the road, going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus was walking ahead of them; they were amazed, and those who followed him were afraid. He took the twelve aside again and began to tell them what was to happen to him, saying, “See, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death; then they will hand him over to the Gentiles; they will mock him, and spit upon him, and flog him, and kill him; and after three days he will rise again.”
James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, “We want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” (Mark 10:32-35)
And you have heard the rest.
If we read them with a cynical eye, we might think that James and John are looking for some kind of trade-off: Ok, we’ll follow you through all of this unpleasantness in Jerusalem, IF you will guarantee us our reward on the other side.
It could be simple naivete: Ok, so it’s going to get unpleasant in Jerusalem, but then after three days, when you rise again, then comes the glory, right? and we kick out the Romans and take our places in the palace, at your left and right hand.
What they have failed to notice, apparently, despite all of their days and weeks and months on the road with Jesus, is that he is already shining with the glory of God. They were on the mountaintop, when he was transfigured into dazzling light, with Moses and Elijah at his left and right hand, by the way – and still they are waiting for the glory. Waiting in the presence of Jesus Christ for the glory of God. Do you see the irony?
They are sitting in the presence of the living Lord, Jesus Christ, waiting to enter into the glory of God.
You may find it strange if I say that we are living in an age of glory. We are not blind to the problems and pitfalls of the present day: the spitting and insults, the death and destruction, the unpleasantness, the condemnation that comes from the religious people and the Gentiles. We know the way of the cross. We have seen its suffering, even if we have escaped its baptism ourselves.
Still, we live in the presence of the living Lord, Jesus Christ, who died, and who lives, and who is seated at the right hand of God (which presumably answers the question of who is sitting at his own left hand, if we choose to take the seating arrangements literally). We live in the presence of Christ, in the knowledge of the kingdom of God that has drawn near, that does break in with all of its glory – if we have eyes to see it.
As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. … member[s] of a race in which God Himself became incarnate.*
Last month, at the end of the community meal, some of the volunteers gathered to celebrate the completion of a twelve-month cycle since the meal was relaunched last September. It was a bit of a weary gathering, after all of the cooking and serving and especially the washing up, and there was a certain amount of grumbling about who had stayed to help and to celebrate, and who had ditched before the clean-up was over. We probably sounded a bit like those disciples, gathered around Jesus and still grumpy with James and John and the long road to Jerusalem left to travel.
But there was a celebration. There was cake, and conversation, and there was prayer in the falling darkness, light in the deepening shadows.
There were also two little boys, who have become regulars at the meal. The youngest is so proud to write his own name on his name tag each time! They sit with their family and eat as many seconds as they think they can get away with. The boys had heard on the grapevine that the volunteers were staying on afterwards, and that there would be cake, so they trailed around after the other guests had left, looking for something to do to be of help, some service they could offer so that they might be counted among the volunteers. They found an empty coffee cup to bring to the washing up window.
Of course, we gave them cake. They sat in the narthex eating it as we gathered in the chapel. They were in no hurry to leave that night. And as the candles were lit, and the hymn of light was lifted into the evening, the youngest crept into the chapel, and slid into a chair, and one of our volunteers slid along the row and held out her hymn book so that he could follow along, and he did, and it was a glorious way to end the day, joined together in service to one another, and in celebration and in prayer offered through Christ, with cake.
There is the glory that is to come. There is the kingdom that is to come; and there is the here and now, life lived in the presence of the living Lord Jesus Christ, and it is glorious, and there is no waiting for it, no line, no exceptions.
We live our little lives full face in the glory of God, whether we recognize it or not.
Thomas Merton, caught up by glory on the corner of Fourth and Walnut in Louisville:
At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God … This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us. … It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely … I have no program for this seeing. It is only given. But the gate of heaven is everywhere.*
James and John got their question wrong only because they forgot that they were already sitting at the right and left hand of Jesus in his glory, Jesus Christ who is the glory of God.
May you see your own glory, given to you by the love of God, in whose glorious image you are made.
Amen.
_________
* Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander (Crown Publishing Group, 2009), 153-6
[Sometimes, the search for a sermon feels like a game of free association – chasing words down rabbit holes and across parklands, trying to track down an idea, the spirit of an idea, and bottle it. This week’s wild goose is chasing glory.
Picture credit: “Elizabeth1England“. Attributed to William Segar – http://www.artfund.org/what-to-see/exhibitions/2013/10/10/elizabeth-i-and-her-people. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.]
Gloriana
Behind the furs, the velvet touches,
behind the flaming hair and fierce reputation,
behind the rosebud lips, she knew herself
to be a bastard, born of a woman lost
to adultery and the sword which severed
her daughter’s umbilical inheritance of glory;
behind the lead paint, her face falling
into disrepair, she locked her despair
in a closet next to her crown.
None of us chooses
glory for herself, nor sees it shine,
mercurial, through the looking glass.
Holy One,
your creativity is infinite;
our ability to respond to your
expansive imagination
is not.
I do not think that you forget our frailty.
Perhaps we forget that you have made us
a little lower than the angels;
another mark of the divine capacity to dream.
Whatever the reason for this rift between
your mind and our mundanity,
I wish you would,
of your fabled compassion,
think about meeting us halfway;
at a time and place of your own
considerable convenience,
of course.
Amen.
You may have heard the story that there was, in olden times, a gate into Jerusalem called the Eye of the Needle, through which a fully-loaded camel could not go without shedding its burdens of material goods, getting down on its camel knees, and camel-crawling through.
It’s a good story, but completely without foundation. Since the theory was proposed in the middle ages, no evidence of such a gate has been found. What we have found is that there was a parable in oral rabbinic tradition that replaced the camel with an elephant, saying much the same thing. Add to that the obvious objection that no one would unload their camel and squeeze it through a gap too narrow for it when there’s another gate a few hundred feet along the wall, and we begin to realize that Jesus meant what he said, absurdity and all. He was making a point for us, not for some hypothetical camel drivers.
The people who proposed the narrow gate theory were like the disciples who did not want to accept the premise of Jesus’ statement to them, or his advice to the rich young man, whom he loved. Whom he loved.
The man had many possessions, and he was grieved and shocked when Jesus told him to leave them behind for the use of others and follow him. His grief was natural. It would be not only his material possessions that he would leave behind if he unpacked that camel.
Money buys prestige, reputation, name recognition. How many impoverished famous people can you name? How many billionaires? Money buys airtime, advertising. Money raises profiles, puts faces in front of the public. Money talks.
Money buys privilege, which means, literally, private law. You have heard it said that there is one rule for the rich, and another for the rest. Maybe a democratic society tries to close the gap, but we know that if we were in trouble, we would do better if we had money to bail ourselves out, buy ourselves sound legal advice. Would Jesus have been crucified if he were a wealthy man? Money brings privilege.
Money buys influence. It buys access to the people of power; it buys their attention. A word or two at a fundraising event: deal or no deal. Money is a lever to move the world. Our world.
Our world? No, hang on a minute; I meant to say, God’s world.
And there is the problem that Jesus identifies and the rich man recognizes. No matter how willing we think we are to unload the camel, or the elephant, we still want to hold on to the beast itself. We want to know that we can attain eternal life, that we can bring God’s kingdom to bear on our world, that the world is ours to change.
The rich man brings all sorts of wealth and gifts to offer to Jesus’ campaign, and Jesus tells him to leave it all behind for the good of others who can use it. Jesus doesn’t need his campaign contributions. Jesus doesn’t need his influence, his political ability. Jesus only needs his love. No wonder the man went away shocked, aggrieved,
“What you bring is not enough,” Jesus told him. The man failed to hear the rest: “What you are is what I want, heart and soul.”
Jesus wasn’t aiming for rejection, but conversion.
We each suffer the rich man’s delusion that we can buy our way into eternal life, whether with money, or influence, or even by good deeds. We know that we are not supposed to worship at the altar of mammon, of worldly wealth and greed; but we want to keep for ourselves something special, some privilege, some inalienable rights, some back-pocket security that we think we deserve and that we think we can use responsibly and still give away just enough, just enough to follow Jesus.
We believe that if we use what we have responsibly, and righteously, and well, we can save ourselves. We believe that we can save Jesus. We buy into the idea of self-righteous ideology that elevates us into saviours.
We might, grudgingly or gladly, unload the camel, but still we cling to the beast itself. We will push it through that gate without regard for its knees. We will not give up the camel.
Or, in the rabbinic version, the elephant. The elephant in the room.
Honestly, there are so many elephants around these days that it’s starting to look like a 3-ring circus. It is time to start calling some of them out: the ones named racism, inequality, and yes, I will name it again: gun violence. I will name it again because our Euclid schools were threatened this week, because there were at least three shootings in schools around the country on Friday alone, because we know that these elephants will not make it through the needle, that they do not belong in the kingdom of God.
It is time to start naming them. It is time to start giving away our name recognition, our power, our political influence – we all know how to contact our representatives and make our voices heard. It is time to give up our privilege and our possessions in the service of those who are getting trampled by the elephants in the room.
It is time to divest ourselves of those things that keep us from following Jesus, faithfully, wholly, truly.
That is what the rich man did not want to hear, what the disciples did not want to hear, what we, what I, frankly, do not want to hear.
But here’s the thing. There is no gate. There is no Eye of the Needle Gate, Camel Gate, no Elephant Gate. There is only us, looking at Jesus through the eye of a needle.
There is no amount of negotiation that will get us through that narrow gap. There is no bargaining with God.
The only way through is conversion into something that will fit, something fit for the kingdom of God.
We have to sacrifice some sacred cows, put out the camel, give up the elephant in room.
We have to admit that our ways are not the ways of God, our thoughts are not God’s thoughts. We have to shed our saviour complex and submit to God’s kingdom, God’s will, God’s way, even if it turns out to be the way of the cross.
“Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said, ‘You lack one thing; go, sell what you own and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.’”
Just because Jesus loved him, he said, come, follow me. Just because Jesus loves us.
Amen.
First, unpack your camel.
Divest it of its commodities:
sugar, salt, and spices,
unguents, oils, perfume,
all excisable goods must go;
hold a trunk sale if you must.
Next, take off its defences;
not only the cannons and
the turret (hump) tower guns,
but the concealed snipers and
the heavy armour and
the compact package of last resort.
Strip it of its saddles,
blankets, bridle, and bit;
it may want to run at this point.
Hold it still while you
draw out its marrow,
unpick its bones, carefully
roll its empty skin as tightly
as you can.
Eye the needle. Realize
this is not going to happen.
Reassemble your camel;
let it go, poor creature;
this is not about the camel.
Think again.