Good Friday

He was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities;
Yet through him, the will of the Lord shall prosper,
because he poured out himself to death,
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for us all
(based on Isaiah 52-53)

In our Book of Common Prayer, the liturgy for Good Friday centres around the Passion Gospel that we have just recited and the Solemn Collects. Everything else we do this evening – the veneration of the Cross, the reception of Communion from last evening’s commemoration of the Last Supper – these are options that we embrace because they feed us, because we feel that they draw us closer to Jesus in his hour of self-giving love. But telling the story of Jesus’ death, for us and for the whole world, and the succession of bidding prayers and collects which we are about to pray, are mandatory to our Good Friday observance.

Because of that, they have rightly come under scrutiny and are under review right now from those who have noticed that the recitation of John’s description of the Passion, and the prayers for those who, as the BCP puts it, “have not received the Gospel of Christ” have led some – too many – into the sin of antisemitism, of a cruel kind of Christianity that seeks to elevate its own judgement above the mercy and justice of God, which is all-embracing.

When I was about thirteen, I went to a friend’s house where her parents were just wrapping up a prayer meeting for spiritual and financial support to send missionaries across the world to preach the gospel to those who had never heard it. My friend’s mother had genuine grief and loving tears in her eyes as she asked me, “What about those poor people who have never heard of Jesus?”

It is a good thing, a right and joyful thing, to share the faith that we have found in Jesus, to share the love of God that we see revealed in his journey through the womb, to the cross and the tomb, and the hope that we uncover in his resurrection, and especially to deliver hope to where it is most needed. The problem with my friend’s mother’s home church’s approach was that she honestly believed that if “these poor people” did not hear about Jesus (preferably from their approved missionaries), those poor people would end up in hell.

This kind of fearful dogma has historically created hell on earth for those whose lives have been invaded and colonized, or destroyed, by missionaries across centuries of the church, old and new. There is a cruelty that masquerades under the costume of the gospel; as when proselytizing missionaries “conquer cultures for Christ.” We see its unkind underbelly uncovered as graves are unearthed in residential schools for indigenous children, for example.

And we see it acutely in the horrors of antisemitism, which persist and are even regrouping today.

But the love of God, which created the world and has sustained it since its inception, has been mediated to us by the prophets, promised to God’s people through Moses, through Abraham. Jesus was born into those covenants, celebrated as a son of David, and he did not break them, but he broke into the hearts and minds and imaginations of the Gentiles so that we might know God’s love, too. There is plenty to be heartbroken over in our prayers and in our lives, but God’s redeeming love should never be the source of sorrow.

Jesus died, was born, lived, and died, and rose again so that we might know the height and length and breadth and depth and endurance of God’s love for God’s own people, made in God’s image, all whom God has made.

The cross does not narrow down God’s love for the world. It raises up God’s love so that all might see the compassion, the deep and abiding compassion, of God for God’s people, that God would even suffer with us in order to redeem us from our suffering and sin.

The cross is not a dividing line, although the Romans intended for it to divide a person from his personhood, the living from the dead, the human from humanity, and they succeeded for too long in pitting us against one another, we who should be cousins. If there is judgement here (and there is), it is the condemnation of the kind of unimaginative, power-hungry, violent, and narrow-minded pride that still hails Caesar and fails to honour the subversive, universal, enduring, and all-encompassing salvation that is God’s love, that is God’s mercy.

The cross, precisely because Jesus died upon it, is no longer a dividing line, but a beacon of God’s mercy, like the pillars of cloud and fire. There is enough strife and persecution in the world of all kinds to flood rivers with God’s tears. But if the cross is still frightening people anywhere, then we are still wielding it as Romans, rather than as Christians. If we sorrow at the foot of the cross, let our sorrow be for ourselves, for our continuing sinfulness, our persistent selfishness, our failure to commend the generosity of God’s love that has embraced us.

If we pray, as we will in a moment, for those who have yet to hear the words of salvation, or to embrace the gospel of Christ, let it be only because we yearn to share the joy – the complicated, painful, penitent joy – that we have found; but let us be terribly, awfully careful not to steal or stifle the joy that God has already planted in the hearts of others.

There are many things to be heartbroken over in our prayers and in our lives, and at the foot of the cross. But God’s redeeming love – that should break our hearts wide open, with hope and love enough for the whole of God’s beloved world.

Amen

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Peter said no

A Maundy Thursday reflection


Peter said no. At least at first.

Peter – oh, poor Simon Peter – was always trying to work it out, get it straight in his head. No, you cannot go to Jerusalem to die, what are you thinking? No, I cannot walk on water, now that I come to think of it several paces from the boat. No, you cannot wash my feet. No, I did not know him.

Poor Simon Peter. He was among the first to follow, and he resisted all the way, but his resistance was futile. 

It was Simon Peter who drew his sword in the Garden and severed the ear of Malchus, a slave, so that even in his lowest hour, stretched to breaking, Jesus had still to reach forth his hand once more in healing.

How hard it is to let Jesus serve us, save us, and know that there is no repayment necessary nor sufficient, that Jesus does not need us to defend him or protect him.

How often have I heard you or myself say something like, “I don’t like to owe anyone anything. I prefer to be independent”? Yet even Jesus allowed Mary to anoint his feet, and to wipe them with her hair. How will we ever learn truly to seek and serve Christ in all persons, unless we allow that he has shown us the way, unless we embrace his humility?

Peter tried to stop Jesus from washing his feet. Peter, who was always saying no, except when he said yes.

Once, Jesus tried to give him an out, when many others were leaving. “Jesus asked the twelve, ‘Do you also wish to go away?’ Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life.’” (John 6:67-68)

Jesus offers us the words of eternal life. We live in a time of reawakened war and continuing chaos. We gather gladly, but we grieve the millions of lives lost while we were sheltering in place these past two years. We struggle with the spring: even our environment is askew. 

In the midst of it all, in a world of “no”, even though he was facing his own human limits, Jesus reaches for us and offers us the word of eternal life, God’s “yes” to our confusion. “You do not know now what it means,” Jesus says to poor, faithfully bewildered Simon Peter, “but later you will understand.” 

We do not summon him with our prayers; he is here before us, where he has been from the beginning. He washes us with his love, feeds us with his body. His life and death betray God’s mercy. All we can do is follow.

Amen

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Peter denies the Christ

Image: L'oreille de Malchus (The ear of Malchus), by James Tissot, James Tissot, Public domain, via Wikimedia Common

Peter denies the Christ
(John 18:1-27)

Malchus

It was dark. Smoke
from torches refused to rise,
hung about the olives and our eyes,
flames close to dying as though light
itself were loath to bear witness

Servant girl

It was cold;
the kind of spring
morning that reminds
aching fingers of the underworld
from which new, green shoots
are trying to break ground

Malchus

Clang of metal against mail
out of rhythm as we stumbled
through the Garden,
an assault to the ears

Servant girl

His accent was a crime – 
the rooster crowed with laughter – 
I did not expect his tears
hissing as they hit the fire

Malchus

I did not see the blade
nor hear the pain,
felt only warmth flood
and throb, blood
to feed the olive trees,
to feed the olive trees

Servant girl

He left his sword
uncleaned, found
uncovered by dawn

Image: L’oreille de Malchus (The ear of Malchus), by James Tissot, James Tissot, Public domain, via Wikimedia Common

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Sleep, prayer, grief, and Jesus

A sermon for Palm Sunday: the Sunday of the Passion, 2022


While his disciples slept, worn out by grief, Jesus took their anguish upon himself, and prayed.

Cyril of Alexandria asks the question why, when Jesus knew what his death would accomplish, when he knew that resurrection would follow, when he knew the depth and height and breadth of God’s love that he embodied, would he be in anguish over what was to come. Ambrose of Milan answers that it is because his humanity demanded it: demanded that he take on not only mortality in the form of death but in the form of grief, and the fear of death, in order to redeem those also.

But there is more than that. 

We see it in Ukraine, in Bucha. We have seen it before. We have seen it across cultures and countries and conflicts. We are not innocent of it. We have seen it in the gospels, when the soldiers torment him, treat him with contempt, spit on him, blindfold him, beat him, terrorize him. The capacity for humanity to brutality, to inhumanity, to desecrate the image of God among us: was not this the cause of Jesus’ anguish?

He told his disciples, “Pray that you may be spared temptation,” because he knew the capacity even among his closest friends for self-deception, the corruption of the devil, the temptation to retribution, violence instead of protection, vengeance instead of reparation. When they drew the sword against his captors, he was ready still with healing. His anguish was the absorption of so much sin, such evil, such un-love as the world is capable of.

And while his disciples slept, worn out by it all, he prayed for us all.

He prayed because he saw how ingrained it is, how deep the roots of evil delve within us. He saw the antisemitism that would follow his death; he grieved for his people, and for their persecutors. He saw the racism, the parsing out of the image of God amongst peoples, and the blasphemy against the spirit of God, the giver of life, that would seek to split and scale the image of God as though some of us had created God in our own image, instead of the other way around. He saw the gender discrimination, the lack of imagination to reflect the expansiveness of God’s creativity among us. He saw the despair that it would engender, and he was deeply grieved by it, for those who suffer from the closed minds of others, and for those whose minds are blindfolded against the love of God.

He saw our pettiness, the self-doubt which we project onto others in order to punish them for our grief. And he prayed that it might be taken away. He saw the abuse that some of us have suffered, and he prayed that our wounds might be healed.

He saw our humanity, and the depths to which it had fallen, and in solidarity with us and our sinfulness, he prayed.

Jesus knew that he would conquer death and sin – he had told them over and again that he would rise – but he was grieved and frightened and anguished at the capacity of his human captors for violence. There is no contradiction here: it was from ourselves that he came to save us. That is why he advises his disciples, “Pray that you may not be tested.” 

I think that the question for us, rather than why Jesus would be anguished, is why, when he has done all of this for us, and with us, the harrowing of hell and the embodiment of suffering, why we are still like this, why this desecration of humanity is still happening.

Jesus came to save us from ourselves, and from sin and evil, and while that work was completed once upon the cross, it is still working, and working itself out, through us and among us. Every day we have a new chance to pray, “Lead us not into temptation. Deliver us from evil.” Because Jesus emptied himself, and took on the form of a slave, and dwelt among us and died among us; because he took our humanity upon himself, with all of its sin and suffering, grief and glimpses of glory; because of that we can live in solidarity with him, confident in the love of God even when we have little confidence in ourselves to live into the humanity that Jesus embodied, the love that he embodied. Because he became human, we can become and remain human, in the midst of the world’s inhumanity.

There is so much grief in this gospel. There is so much grief in our world. His disciples were worn out under it, and do we not feel for them. And Jesus prayed for them as they slept. He took their burdens upon himself, he took them to the cross, and he buried them there.

He freed us from death and sin and evil and violence to live instead a new life, if we will trust him, if we will follow him,  if we make his prayer our own, if we will let him pray for us, and say only, “Amen.”

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The Friday Fast: Do not rush to Easter

Do not rush to Easter

You may stumble over someone slowly
carrying their cross, might miss the quiet words
of sacrifice: my body for you, my blood.
Do not sleepwalk past the garden, where olive groves
groan and dream of peace. Do not rush, for you
may miss Pilate’s grand oration, “Ode to Truth,” or
hasten by the soldiers playing dice for spoils;
pray for their souls and the bodies left
bereft by their attentions. Take pause:
the tears of women carrying spices
have turned the ground to fragrant mud.
Do not hurry to the tomb. There is no need
for haste, when time itself will stutter
soon, and the world begin to turn anew.


This poem first appeared in the newsletter for the Church of the Epiphany, and at the Episcopal Cafe.

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Here is love

A sermon for the Fifth Sunday in Lent, in which Mary of Bethany anoints Jesus’ feet.


Only three times do we meet Mary of Bethany in the gospels, at least by name. The first time we meet her, and this last time, Jesus tells those around her, criticizing her, carping on her, to leave her alone. Let her be. 

In both instances, Mary was attending closely to Jesus. In the first place, she simply sat at his feet and listened to him, and her sister, Martha, complained to Jesus that there were other things Martha needed Mary, or wanted Mary to do. But Mary was lavishing her time and attention on Jesus, and Jesus defended her choice. He let Mary stay close by him.

Martha was in charge of the household, no doubt. When their brother died, and Jesus came late to visit them, it was Martha who met him and upbraided him for not coming sooner. It was Martha who was consulted about rolling away the stone in front of her brother’s tomb. It was Martha who told Jesus, “Yes, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God,” Martha who declared her hope in the resurrection.

That in-between visit is the only time we also hear Mary speak, and when she does, it is an echo, a repetition of her sister’s opening words, “If you had been here, my brother would not have died,” as though Martha had taught her what to say. But instead of answering her, gently arguing it out with her, as he did with Martha, when Jesus saw Mary weeping, he just broke down and wept with her.

There is a simplicity to Mary, and to Jesus’ relationship with her. I think that Mary may have been quite fortunate to have a sister like Martha to look after her, out in the world. Such innocence can be exploited. Such devotion is dangerous. Even here, among family and friends, there is a vulnerability to Mary, in the way that others see her, and want to correct her or redirect her. They are embarrassed by her demonstrative love, her extravagant and single-minded attention to Jesus. But Jesus is deeply affected by her, and strongly protective of her: “Leave her alone,” he says. Let her be.

I learned this week that the word that John uses to describe the way in which Mary wipes Jesus’ feet with her hair is the same word with which Jesus wipes his disciples’ feet, including Judas’ feet, before that dinner in the upper room that we will soon celebrate and commemorate. I wonder if Jesus was inspired by Mary’s devotions, whether her embodiment of loving humility helped him form the plan to kneel before his friends and wash their feet.

Martha – faithful, faith-filled, distracted and well-meaning Martha – Martha is still serving, but perhaps she has undergone a change of heart since that first encounter. Perhaps she has taken to heart Jesus’ admonishment: Let her be. At any rate, this time, she is not the one who tries to undermine Mary’s position at Jesus’ feet.

This time it is Judas – cynical, self-righteous, possibly fraudulent Judas – who objects not to Mary’s position but to the disposition of the perfume that she has just squandered on Jesus. Just as Martha was not wrong to want help in the kitchen, Judas is not incorrect in his assessment of the other good that a pound of pure nard could do. But his motives are less pure than the perfume, and his dismissal of Mary, his diminishment of her act of love and mercy, his contempt for her betrays him. And Jesus is having none of that: “Leave her alone!” he says.

We cannot all be Mary, at least not all of the time. Many days we are Martha, distracted by many things that have to get done, or else the world will stop turning, or so we seem to think. There is a pain somewhere behind her ribs that reminds her of her mother. Something in the tenderness of Mary’s hair on Jesus’ feet that reminds her of grief. Perhaps that’s why she looks away, busies herself back in the kitchen, as though that will heal her. 

Sometimes, we are Judas, world-weary and cynical, jealous and resentful of the attention that someone else is getting, that someone else has to give. Judas doesn’t care if Jesus’ teaching and wisdom is wasted on Mary. He does care that she is wasting good perfume on the man that Judas will never be. His self-righteous words barely cover up his self-doubt, self-loathing. He heaps contempt upon himself and it spills all over Mary and even Jesus. Beware of contempt; it is a fairground mirror, and it will distort us as much as the other, and lead us down false pathways and dead ends.

I am willing to wager that a lot of the time we are Lazarus, dazed and confused, grateful to be alive, don’t get me wrong, but not up for much else, just wanting to eat our dinner in peace. Lazarus, who doesn’t get involved in the argument either time and is in no fit state in between; Lazarus, who, perhaps, could use some bystander training? 

But now look at them, Jesus and Mary, one more time. Even Martha pauses from spooning out the rice. There is such love in this moment that the scent of it fills the air. It drives out the stench of fear that hangs around their journey to Jerusalem. Here is love that doesn’t bury grief, but anoints it, attends to it. Here is love that doesn’t count the cost, but pours itself out so that it is felt, sensed, perceived far beyond the feet that receive it: “the house was filled with the fragrance of it.” Here is love that inspires others to love. Jesus soon will wash and wipe even Judas’ feet with the same action that Mary has used on him, with her hair, with her soul.

And here is love. Jesus told Judas, and those who were in danger of agreeing with him, “Leave her alone.” He accepted Mary’s offering, he welcomed her devotion, her sins, whatever they may have been, were forgiven. If her gesture was clumsy, or inept, or embarrassing, he was unconcerned. He loved her for who she was, and for how she was, and for how she loved.

Holy Week is coming. Jerusalem is but a couple of miles away. The love which welcomes us for who we are, how we are, how we love, that forgives us with a humility that we can only aspire to, that love is about to be poured out in all kinds of uncomfortable ways. Its fragrance will fill the world, not with the stench of death but with the power of love to bring new life.

And what will be our character in the story?

Image: From Christus gezalfd door Maria MagdalenaDe kleine Passie (serietitel), Rijksmuseum, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons. This illustration is from Luke’s telling of the story (Luke 7:36-50), in which the woman is unnamed; the artist has attributed the action to Mary Magdalene.

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The Friday Fast: Sabbath

Sabbath

Don’t kill time.
Sit with it a little;
wait for it to see you watching, 
slow its stride.
Let it tell its story;
it has been too long
since you had time
to listen.

“Once,” says time,
“I was at the beginning
of every tale; words
were built upon my spine.
When did time become
so busy that the stories
have no time to settle
into my bones?

“I am old as creation
and new every day.
God herself has hallowed me out,
but even I cannot hold
the evening and the morning
without pause to catch my breath,
and pray. Stay
a while,” says time.

Consider: you could walk 
away with the weight 
of a broken-hearted grandfather
clock on your hands,
or stay a while listening 
to time pass, 
counting the moments not as though wasted,
but lightly, like steps in a dance.

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The Friday Feast: Annunciation

We interrupt the Friday Fast series for the Feast of the Annunciation, the story itself of a glorious interruption …

Annunciation

What strange boldness to announce the Word
to his astonished Mother; Auden had it right,
the falling star blitzing its way into consciousness.

The angel, patient as only the immortal may be,
orates, words about the Word, imperturbably,
as though language, the cacophony of consonants
and vowels, clanging syllables could contain
the sheer affrontery of God’s obliterating mercy.

W.H. Auden, The Temptation of Joseph, from For the Time Being: A Christmas Oratorio
Image: The Annunciation, Stefano di Giovanni, via Wikimedia Commons, CC0

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Holy ground

A sermon for the Third Sunday in Lent, March 20, 2022

The people of God were groaning under their burdens: cruel slavery, attempted genocide – you remember where Moses’ story began, amid the murder of infants and the interference of Pharaoh among their birthing mothers – and the people cried out (Exodus 1-2). According to the book of Exodus, “God heard their groaning, and God remembered God’s covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God looked upon the Israelites, and God took notice of them.” (Exodus 2:24-25)

The people groan under the burden of war. Their mothers were murdered. The cries of the infants who survived mingle with the tears of great-grandmothers, each as helpless as the next. We have seen it starkly and unambiguously in Ukraine. We have seen it elsewhere; we may have been tempted to turn away.

But God took notice. God saw the people, God heard the people, God remembered the people, God paid attention to the suffering of the people. God came down, God stepped out of heaven, God descended, condescended to speak to Moses about the people.

In fact, Moses nearly blundered right into the angel of the Lord, the vision of the presence of God, standing among the unconsumed branches of fire. He didn’t notice the angel, it seems, only the flames and the curiosity of the shrub that refused to burn, until God spoke directly to him. Like Balaam, whose donkey had to tell him about the angel in the middle of the road – you remember that story? 

The king of Moab wanted Balaam to prophesy and to curse the people of Israel as they were encamped nearby, but Balaam would not. Yet eventually he did agree to go to meet the king, although only to deliver what God would say to him. On the way to Moab, God met Balaam three times on the road, but Balaam did not notice. How could he promise to deliver the word of God if he would not even see God standing right in front of him! His donkey saw, and turned aside, and when there was nowhere left to turn, the donkey lay down beneath Balaam, and refused to move. And because Balaam would not see God, and could hardly promise to deliver the word of God if he couldn’t even see God standing right in front of him; because of this, God opened the donkey’s mouth and the donkey told Balaam, “Really? Do you not see what is happening here?” (Numbers 22)

Do you not see? Moses could not see God’s messenger standing right before him. 

Moses had given up on his people, on the house of Pharaoh, on all of them. He had left his home in Egypt and settled on the other side of the Red Sea, among the Midianites. He was married. He had a family. He thought that he had put the suffering of his people behind him, that he was turned loose from all of that. So why, in God’s name, did he find himself now, with his father-in-law’s flocks to feed, turning back towards the desert that lies between the land of Midian and the nation of Egypt? Why was he back in the wilderness when God found him? Was he so lost?

God found him, and God said, “Moses! Here I am.” 

God said, “This is holy ground.” In the middle of the wilderness, to the side of the path, from the heart of a desert shrub, God spoke, and God said, “This, too, is holy ground.” Because there is no place on earth that God has abandoned.

God said, “I have heard them. I have seen my people, I know their suffering, and I have come down to deliver them.”

Because there is no one whom God has abandoned to injustice, or to violence.

We may have lost our way. We fumble for a path to peace like a drunkard staggering home in the dark. We cry out like cats on a rooftop. We wonder who hears us. We fall silent. We lower our eyes to the ground. We do not see the angel of God watching us, waiting for us to look up, to notice the fire that does not consume, that does not burn, that does not fall from heaven, but kindles among us, right here on earth, because God has come down.

God has come down to deliver us.

The way of deliverance may not look exactly as we expect. The messengers of God may not speak in words that we are ready for – who would have thought that the donkey would talk? But how will we see God if we are not prepared to find Them.

 Moses was not certain that God knew what God was doing, sending him back, but God knew. The journey to the Promised Land was not without danger or sacrifice. The way of the Cross, of Christ crucified was and is a stumbling block to many and foolishness to many more. The seeds of peace that we sow and tend may take time to bear fruit, the vine may even seem to be barren for a season, but be patient. For God has come down to deliver us.

We read the stories of the Bible and we ask God: why not come down directly to Egypt instead of waiting for Moses to notice the burning bush? We see the stories on the news and we wonder if we dare ask today: why not come down directly to Kyiv, or to Tigray, or to Yemen, or to Kabul, to the trauma unit, or to the maternity hospital in Mariupol?

God says, of course, I have, and I am, and I will. I have come down to deliver my people. I was born in treacherous circumstances. I survived the genocide of Herod to be crucified by Pilate. I was with the construction workers at Siloam. As a child, I was a refugee in Egypt. I am with the suffering at war. I was killed by a cruel and unjust empire. I am with the thief in paradise. I have seen my people, I have heard their cries, I know their suffering, I have come down.

This is holy ground. There is nowhere that I have abandoned, and no one whom I would not go searing through the wilderness to find.

And you, Moses, and you, and you will be my messenger, to tell Pharaoh of my justice and the people of my mercy.

“Seek God, while God wills to be found” (after Isaiah 55:6). For God is come down to us.

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The Friday Fast: But not consumed

Spare a prayer for the shrub

living on cloudbursts and sand;

the will of iron would not withstand

the attentions of this living fire

that melts the ground to glass

and on it stands mirrored

in its own image kindling

rooted in dust aflame

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