An apology

To those hurting and heartbreaking, angry and frustrated after yesterday’s vote in North Carolina:

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that as a woman married to a man I am part of a majority that has said, “My love is sacred and celebrated,” and has ignored or insulted yours.

I’m sorry that as a Christian, my views are often reported as stating that, “I know what God wants, and He agrees with me.”

I’m sorry that as a foreigner, an immigrant to this country, I was able to walk in with my marriage certificate half written in Welsh and demand that it be taken seriously; whereas your marriage certificate from one of these other states to which we are united does not guarantee any recognition of your union.

I’m sorry. It doesn’t seem fair.

I do not repent of marrying my husband. No regrets there. But I do repent of taking for granted the right to marry him. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I didn’t pray longer or louder for you.

There are those who do, though. Let me offer a little light on a dark day. We have our own amendment in Ohio, but there are children who do not believe in it. There are children in our schools who insist that when the family relationships class plans mock weddings, they should include the weddings hoped for by all of the students, not just the majority. They plan to marry, regardless of the law. They do not believe that, in the future, that law will stand; that it will be allowed to stand in their way. They believe that in their future, love wins.

If I said, I believe that your love is sacred, is to be celebrated; that loving, faithful, committed marriages are something we should be supporting, not denying; that they are, yes, the bedrock of our families – and we should make sure that all of our families have our support and our celebration; if I said that I know that you are beloved not only of one another but of God, I might sound, from where I stand, a little bit patronizing. Especially today.

So I’ll just say, I’m sorry.



This post has been updated

About Rosalind C Hughes

Rosalind C Hughes is a priest and author living near the shores of Lake Erie. After growing up in England and Wales, and living briefly in Singapore, she is now settled in Ohio. She serves an Episcopal church just outside Cleveland. Rosalind is the author of A Family Like Mine: Biblical Stories of Love, Loss, and Longing , and Whom Shall I Fear? Urgent Questions for Christians in an Age of Violence, both from Upper Room Books. She loves the lake, misses the ocean, and is finally coming to terms with snow.
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